Trouble Island REWRITTEN
by garfieldodie
Summary: Co-written with Swing123. Three weeks after 'Double Trouble', Calvin's dad once again drags an unwilling family on yet another camping trip. This one is going to be much more interesting than usual, as Calvin is also seeing a psychiatrist who might have an ulterior motive for taking him as a patient...
1. Summer Shenanagins

**Author's Notes:** _Yay! We're back! We have another story to tell! Or retell, as it were! It's time for the rewritten version of_ Trouble Island _. I'm super pleased with how this story has turned out, and I feel it's a huge improvement on the original version I posted back in '05. Enjoy, won't us?_

* * *

A pair of dragonflies buzzed around the woods, circling each other in a perfectly synchronized acrobatic feat. They swirled around the trees, the flowers, the tall grass, enjoying the peace and quiet. Everything was nice and serene. They couldn't think of anywhere else to aimlessly buzz around for no reason other than pure instinct.

However, the sound of whooping and yelling and metallic rattling startled them out of their fun, and they were forced to make a panicked dive out of the way as a little red wagon came barreling along a dirt path. Bumping and clanking, it raced down the landscape and bucketed into the distance.

Calvin gripped the steering handle on the wagon and maneuvered carefully. "Okay, I think we're getting the right amount of speed! Is everybody ready?"

"The equipment is prepared, captain!" Hobbes replied.

"But what if it doesn't all hold together?" Andy asked worriedly.

"Then we put the video on the internet and become overnight sensations!" Socrates cheered.

"Great," grunted Sherman. "Hopefully, that'll pay for the medical bills."

"Stop being a Debbie Downer! I am ready to _soar_ , darn it!"

"You heard the guy!" Calvin declared. "Everyone get ready!"

They were all crammed tightly together in the little red wagon. Even though one of them was a tiny hamster, it was still two kids and two tigers in it. With so little space, they had been forced to stand up as they rode, hanging onto each other, while Calvin gripped the steering column tightly.

Socrates slipped on a pair of swimming goggles and gripped a handlebar with a long rope tied to it. "I am in uniform!"

"Sherman!" Calvin shouted. "Are we ready to deploy?"

"Velocity seems to be favorable. My main concern is that the weight may be a problem…," Sherman replied.

"You calling me overweight?" Socrates snapped.

"Boys, please!" Andy scolded. "We're trying to be young and reckless! This is no time for bickering!"

"Okay, everyone get ready!" Calvin declared. "One… two… three! Deploy!"

Hobbes and Andy braced themselves as Socrates left out of the wagon, still holding the rope. On his feet, he was wearing a pair of Styrofoam trays, both tied to his feet. He hit the ground and proceeded to 'dirt ski' behind them.

"Woo-hoo!" he cheered. "Cowabunga! Hang ten! Footloose! Booyah!"

"That's right," Sherman called back. "Get all the stereotypes out."

"Just remember to steer!" Hobbes reminded him. "We go one way, you go the other!"

"Yeah, basic physics! Totally got it!" Socrates replied. "Let's see if I can do a handstand!"

As the red-tailed tiger was fooling around behind them, Calvin wrestled with the steering column, doing his best to avoid all the rocks and trees that kept appearing before them. At one point, he glanced back to see if Socrates was pulling it off, and when he looked again a few seconds later, he saw a massive boulder was rapidly approaching. With a yelp, he wrenched the handle to the right and swerved.

Unfortunately, they left the path and flew right off the side of a cliff.

"Whoops," Calvin said, peering over the edge at the land below.

Hobbes sighed heavily. "One day, we need to set up guard rails around these cliffs."

They all flew into the air as the wagon fell.

"Ah well," Andy said thoughtfully. "I probably wouldn't have sounded all that great with a deep voice anyway."

Socrates, on the other hand, was enjoying himself enormously. He wouldn't even let go of the rope. "Surf's _u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-up_!"

They all tumbled and toppled higgledy-piggledy through the air until they finally came in for a very wet landing in a lake at the bottom. It erupted in a huge splash, with the water raining down again for several seconds.

A short while later, Calvin emerged on dry land, coughing and spluttering, dropping on his hands and knees as his normally energetic hair drooped lifelessly. Andy crawled out a few moments later, his clothes dragging and his own brown hair over his eyes. Sherman spilled out of the boy's pocket with his fur all matted down.

Hobbes crawled out shortly after, soaking wet, but also eating a fish he'd managed to catch. He noticed the others and held some out. "Want some?"

Then, with a large splash, Socrates emerged and attempted to walk to shore, only to keep tripping on the trays that were still tied to his feet. He landed back in the water about three times before he finally collapsed on land next to them. He rolled onto his back and proceeded to kick the trays off.

"Phew!" he exclaimed, sliding the goggles off. "Got some wicked air time on that one, dudes."

"Socrates, this isn't the 60s," Calvin grumbled.

"I'm copasetic."

"Ugh…"

Hobbes got down on all fours and proceeded to shake all the water off that he could. His fur was a tad poofy now, much to his frustration. "Great. Another ride in the washing machine when we get home," he grumbled.

Socrates blinked. "The washing machine? I thought we tigers were supposed to do the whole 'self-grooming' thing."

"Calvin's parents are weird. I always go with his clothes."

"They don't put you in with the tighty-whities, do they?!"

"Perish the thought! Only with the shirts and decorative socks!"

Calvin began wringing his clothes out. "Man… Maybe if we keep moving, we can dry off a bit before Mom sees us."

"You need to install a laundry feature in the MTM," Andy suggested. "Something for just these sorts of occasions."

"Not a bad idea, considering these sorts of occasions happen more than occasionally," Sherman agreed.

"Come on," Calvin grumbled. "Help me get the wagon out of the lake."

"Gotcha covered," Socrates replied. He held up a paw, revealing that he was still holding the rope. He began pulling it up, and the wagon came squeaking onto the shore with them, sporting a few dings and scratches, but otherwise unharmed.

Andy let out a whistle. "I don't know how this thing still moves," he said. "Seems to thrive on abuse."

Calvin tipped it over to get the water out. "At least it means we don't have to walk home," he said.

Hobbes laughed briefly. "You're kidding, right?"

"Yeah, come on! Get in!"

"Heck no!" Sherman declared. "After the fall we just took, I'm not about to go for another ride in that little red deathtrap."

Calvin sat in the wagon and shrugged. "Okay then. Perhaps one of you could pull _me_?"

This was met with dismissive scoffs as Socrates dropped the rope and followed the others into the woods.

"Okay, _fine_! _Be_ selfish!" Calvin snapped, climbing out of the wagon and pulling it after them.

* * *

Half an hour later, the five friends were all lying on a massive boulder under the hot sun. Calvin and Andy were in their underwear with their clothes laid out on the rocks to get dry in the heat. Hobbes, Socrates and Sherman were laid out as well, arms outstretched, warming their fur.

"… What day is it today?" Sherman asked.

Andy thought for a moment. "… Tuesday."

"Like heck!" Calvin objected. "It's Wednesday!"

Andy shrugged. "Well, if you want to be _that_ accurate…"

"Could've sworn it was Thursday," Socrates said quietly.

Sherman slapped his forehead sadly. "You know what this means, don't you? It means not one of us has got any clue what doggone day it is!"

Calvin shrugged. "It just _feels_ like a Wednesday."

"Does it matter what day it is?" Hobbes asked.

"I like to keep my mind sharp. I can't stand the thought of it atrophying," Sherman replied.

"Really?" Calvin asked. He was genuinely surprised. "I consider it one of the benefits of summer vacation!"

"True enough," Hobbes agreed. "Just kick back, relax and pretend we're _not_ probably going to be killed by a kingdom of aliens."

"Yeah…," Andy said slowly. "It's been three weeks since all that happened. Still no plan?"

"Still no plan," Calvin confirmed.

"Are you lying?"

"Possibly."

"Okay…"

"Still not going in on my idea of making the Earth invisible?" Socrates asked.

"And spend the rest of our lives bumping into everything?" Hobbes asked.

"Well, if you're just going to be sensible, Hobbes…"

"My only real option," Calvin said, "is to wait and see what Rupert does. I told him he'd better give it his all if he's going to try again."

"So you fully expect him to try again," Sherman said.

"Yep."

"So you didn't just stop him when you literally had him defenseless at your feet?"

"Well, what was the alternative? Kill him? Come on, Sherman – we all know I'm not capable of just killing someone outright. Good grief, I'm going to have _enough_ to tell my psychiatrist twenty years from now."

"Such as?"

"Well, all the camping trips I've been dragged on, for openers. The ones I've been on, and the ones I'm _going_ to be on."

"Mmm," Hobbes grunted. "Including the one we're going on in a couple of days."

Andy, Sherman and Socrates all hissed sympathetically.

"Exactly," said Calvin. "We're going to be gone for a few days. Thankfully, Dad knows better than to take us fishing on the ocean. We're back to the Itchy Little Rock in the Lake this time."

"Not _much_ of an improvement, but no cruise ships this time," Hobbes noted.

"I dunno… Going stark-raving murderous mad on a cruise ship was _infinitely_ more pleasurable than swatting mosquitos every ten seconds."

Suddenly, Socrates sat up. "Huh boy."

"What's up?" asked Hobbes.

"Incoming transmission on my transmitter chip."

"Ugh," grumbled Andy. "Always when I'm not dressed…"

"Must be Galaxoid and Nebular," Calvin sighed. "Put 'em through."

Socrates tapped his head a few times, trying to make the chip work. Every few seconds, he seemed to go into a trance like he always did when it was activating, but then he'd snap out of it and have to start over.

"Problem?" Hobbes asked.

"I'm not sure," Socrates replied. "I seem to be… Oop! Wait! Here it comes!"

Socrates then began to speak, but it was clearly the voices of Galaxoid and Nebular trying to talk to them.

"… _Earth Po – ate… kscch … has es – kxcsk – from – kschhhx – dang it, we… - aving trouble… our transmission… kscch – call back later – kssshhhh!_ "

Socrates snapped back to normal and staggered a bit, shaking his head.

"Are you okay?" Andy asked.

"Yeah, I think so… What the heck was up with that? It was all garbled and staticy!"

"Sounded like some defect on their end," Sherman said.

"Whatever," Calvin sighed, lying back down. "They said they'd call back later."

"Yeah, that's a good enough reason to just ignore it," Hobbes said sarcastically.

"Exactly. Glad you agree, Hobbes."

Everyone else rolled their eyes and laid back down.

* * *

Back at the house, Mom was going about her day, getting dinner started. She was thumbing through a few cookbooks, looking for something new and bizarre to try. She figured Calvin wouldn't eat it, but what the heck. She needed to experiment once in a while. She needed something new.

She also needed something to keep her mind occupied. Just a few weeks ago, she had been certain they were all going to die. A band of aliens had come down from above and threatened them all. What was worse was that they'd seemed to home in on their house specifically. Why them, she wasn't sure. But it had taken a long time to get used to the knowledge that _something_ had happened.

And she still wasn't sure where Calvin fit into it all. He'd been kidnapped just before it happened, but he'd turned up with his stuffed tiger over his arm as if nothing happened. He'd claimed to have defeated the aliens, but that was just Calvin being Calvin – always in a world of imagination.

Still… that worried her.

The door opened, and she heard her husband returning from his normal day of patent-lawyer-ing. He set down his briefcase in the living room and left his hat and jacket across his favorite chair. He strolled into the kitchen as he undid his tie and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"Good afternoon, dear!" he said. "How was your day?"

"Oh, it was fine. Calvin's been off with Andy and their tigers all day, so it's been pretty quiet."

"Good, good…"

"I'm kind of worried about him."

"How do you mean?"

"Well, think about it! After everything that happened, he doesn't seem to have been all that effected by it! He just goes on like he always does, misbehaving, causing trouble, complaining all the time… It's like nothing happened!"

"Well, considering what _did_ happen, I'm actually kind of glad," Dad said. "Makes going back to normal everyday life kind of easier."

"I still can't help but worry. I mean, what if he's repressing something? What if he's been in denial? Suppose what happened was so traumatic, he has to convince himself something else happened?"

Dad blinked. "That actually sounds like him _before_ all this started. He never tells the truth. He's watching a show I told him not to? Aliens made him. He tracks mud across the floor? A duplicate of himself did it. And of course, let's not forget the fake story he gave for the Noodle Incident…"

"To be fair, we don't _know_ that's a fake story. Nobody has ever seemed one hundred percent certain what happened there…"

"The point is Calvin doesn't like admitting when he's made a mistake or something bad is happening, so he creates a story to avoid guilt or fear. Remember when I found him tied to a chair? He claimed Hobbes did it, trying to hold him for ransom."

Mom thought about that. "Wait… how _did_ Calvin tie himself up if he was alone?"

Dad shrugged. "Never found out. But come on. His stuffed tiger did it? That's below feeble."

Mom thought about this for a while. "Maybe we need to do something about this…"

"Such as?"

"I'm thinking maybe a child psychiatrist."

"Seriously?"

"Well, something has clearly been going on in Calvin's head for some time now. Maybe having someone to talk to will help him get in touch with reality. I mean, if nothing else, we can get him to grow away from Hobbes someday."

"Yeah, I hate to think he's going to be dragging that thing off to college with him… Still, I don't know if we can afford a psychiatrist right now. After all, we've still got our camping trip coming up."

Mom rolled her eyes. "Dear, we'll have plenty of money left over for the camping trip. Let's start researching and see if there's someone affordable in the area."

Dad nodded and got up to start looking on his computer.

Mom glanced out the window and saw Calvin and Andy coming up the hill with two stuffed tigers and a hamster in the wagon behind them. She smiled slightly, but the concern was still prevalent.

* * *

 **Author's Notes:** _And we're off! This should be a ten chapter story, so if we're lucky, this should be a ten week ordeal for you all. We also have an outline forming for_ Retro Chill _'s rewrite, but more on that later._

 _Looking forward to the eventual TVTropes page for this, and all our other stories. I enjoy seeing how other people interpret our stories and what they spot, so I hope those who work on it keep up the excellent work! Thanks!_


	2. Getting Special Help

The following day came and passed like every other. Calvin did some routine maintenance on the MTM, Hobbes and Socrates watched some nature documentaries while Socrates laughed at them, Andy played video games and Sherman stayed down in his lab working hard on whatever project he had going at the time. As the day began to wind down, Calvin and Hobbes concluded it with an evening of reading comic books upon Calvin's bed.

For a while, the duo sat in silence, reading their respective comics, before Hobbes randomly looked up and glanced at Calvin.

"Bit of a random thought I just had." He said, thoughtfully.

"Hmm?" Calvin asked, barely glancing up from his own comic.

"Remember Moe?"

"Vaguely."

"Haven't really seen much of him lately."

"Yeah, I recall a time when he was our greatest adversary."

"Well, _your_ greatest adversary, really. I only met the guy once or twice."

Calvin sighed. "Wouldn't be awesome if he bothered me again _now_? I've never tested the MTM's tesla coil on a human before."

Hobbes rolled his eyes.

"Calvin! Could you come here, please?"

Calvin and Hobbes both looked towards Calvin's bedroom door with expressions of mild curiosity.

"You in trouble or something?" Hobbes asked.

"Don't think so," Calvin said, scratching his head. "I haven't thrown anything at Susie in a few days. Maybe she found the slime creature in the basement."

"I thought you got rid of that?"

"Eh, it seems to keep popping up every other day or so. I try to keep on top of it when I'm not doing anything else. Provides a bit of dull entertainment for a couple minutes."

The two of them headed downstairs to the living room. Upon arriving, they found Mom and Dad sitting on the couch with rather uncomfortable expressions on their faces. Calvin could immediately tell he wasn't going to like what they had to say.

"So, erm… Calvin we have a… surprise for you…," Mom said nervously.

Calvin raised an eyebrow. "A surprise?"

"Yeah…," Dad added.

There was a seriously long drawn out pause as they both put off what they were about to tell him.

Calvin cleared his throat. "Well, if the news is that you've decided to be mimes for a living, I'm going to have to move out."

"Erm…," Mom started. "We're going to be taking you to be introduced to a very 'cool' man called Doctor…"

"You're taking me to a psychologist?" Calvin interrupted.

Mom and Dad paused. "Y-yes…," Mom sighed.

"Why?" Calvin asked, genuinely curious.

"Calvin, you haven't been yourself since the aliens!" Dad insisted.

Calvin's brow furrowed in confusion.

"Well… you _have_ … but that's what we're worried about!" he continued. "You don't have to pretend as if everything is okay after something like that!"

Calvin threw a glance at Hobbes, who just shrugged in response. "Well, that's good to know, but I promise I'm fine."

"Calvin, you were kidnapped, and then everything with the aliens happened, and that's a lot to take in for someone. We understand that," Mom added.

"I really wonder if you do."

"We're just worried about you."

"Everything is _fine…,"_ Calvin grumbled, rubbing his temple. "I interact with aliens on a bi-weekly basis. If nothing else, that's not the reason I would need a psychologist."

"Still, we just think it would be good for you to talk to someone." Mom said. "He wanted to see you today at four, so…"

"Sorry, no can do, Mom," Calvin interrupted again. "Four is when Hobbes, MTM and I are going to watch the Magariss System get eaten by a black hole. It's a lifeless star system and its presence has been interfering with MTM's intergalactic Wi-Fi, so we're pretty excited about it."

Mom and Dad stared at him with what seemed like mounting horror.

"We've already made the appointment, Calvin," Dad said, finally. "You have to go."

Calvin groaned. "I don't need a shrink, guys!" He insisted. "I dread to think about what you would do if you knew how long I had been dealing with this stuff."

This was clearly a mistake to say.

"Dealing with what?!" Mom said, leaning in towards her son. "Is there something _else_ we don't know about?"

Calvin heaved a deep sigh. "Please tell me what the point would be to try and explain this again?" he grumbled. "I legitimately would like to know."

"Would you just humor us with this, Calvin?" Dad asked. "Just do this one session and see how you feel afterwards?"

Calvin thought for a moment. "What do _you_ think, Hobbes?"

Mom and Dad watched as he seemed to be listening to whatever his stuffed tiger was "saying". He gave whatever advice he'd been given some thought before readdressing them with a very reluctant expression.

"Very well," he grumbled. "I'll see if this random and probably pretentious doctor can provide some insight into my life that I haven't already thought of myself."

Mom and Dad heaved a sigh of relief. "Thank you, Calvin," Mom said.

"Mmhm," Calvin mumbled. "I'll be in my room. Tell me when it's time to go."

The boy picked Hobbes up, threw him over his shoulder and started off back towards his room.

Mom and Dad watched him go.

"That went… a lot better than I thought it would…," Dad admitted.

"Same," Mom agreed. "There was… a lot less _screaming_ than I'm used to…"

"Maybe this won't be as much of a nightmare as we think."

Suddenly, there was a low rumbling sound that shook the couch that Mom and Dad were sitting on, which caused them both to jump. Accompanied with this was a wet squishing noise that rang out through the house.

"What the heck was that?!" Mom demanded.

"It sounded like it came from the basement!" Dad added.

At that moment, the two looked up to see Calvin walking back down the stairs, his stuffed tiger and CD player in tow. He had a clear expression of bored annoyance upon his face.

"I'll take care of it…," he grumbled, trudging towards the basement.

* * *

A man wearing a checkerboard jacket sat silently in a small office adorned with certificates and bookshelves filled with books on psychology and the mind. His face was round with a soft expression. His brown hair was combed back and he had a long beard reaching down to his chest. He sat on a velvet red chair going over some notes and stroking his beard, thoughtfully.

He looked up as he heard his door creaking open and smiled as he saw Calvin and his parents strolling into the room.

"Hello, hello," he greeted, standing up and shaking Mom and Dad's hands, respectively.

"Doctor… _Furcifer_ ," Mom said uncertainly. "Thank you for seeing us under such short notice."

"It isn't a problem at all," Furcifer smiled. "And this must be Calvin. What's up, buddy?"

"Platitudinous annoyance," Calvin replied, simply. "And you?"

"I'm just ready to have a conversation with you," Furcifer said. "I'll try to make you feel as comfortable as I can."

"I've been told that's difficult." Calvin said, raising an eyebrow.

Furcifer turned to Mom and Dad. "So we have a twenty minute session, so if you would like to come back then, or you are welcome to stay in the waiting room for the duration."

"That's fine," Dad said. "We'll just be right outside. All right, Calvin?"

"Indeed," Calvin replied, uninterested, as he walked over to the residing chair and flopped down.

Mom and Dad cast bemused expressions onto their son, before they turned and walked out the door.

Furcifer paused before turning to Calvin with his still warm expression.

"Glad to see you're making yourself at home," he said returning to his own chair and taking out his notepad."

"I've become quite used to not being home, so it's become a standard," Calvin nodded.

Furcifer nodded as well. "You have been through quite a lot these last few years. Made national headlines at one point, I recall."

"And yet I still don't have my own reality show," Calvin said. "Take that as you will."

Furcifer nodded and wrote on his notepad briefly, before turning back to the boy.

"Has anyone ever commented on how mature you are for your age?" he asked, once again stroking his beard.

"Never."

"Really?"

"Nope. I am rarely taken seriously outside of my immediate group of comrades," Calvin yawned. "Nothing I'm not accustomed to."

"Well, other than that, how is life going?" Furcifer asked.

"Eh, so-so, I suppose. School kinda sucks and I perpetually feel as though I'm surrounded by fools, but I manage to keep myself entertained."

"How so? What do you do for fun?"

"Well, I spend a great amount of time outside when the weather isn't terrible. I go wagon riding, sledding, swimming, and when I'm feeling extra adventurous, I take occasional trips into space and our neighboring dimensions and universes."

Furcifer paused. "All right…," he said, finally writing on his pad. "Well what has it been recently?"

"This has been the first break I've gotten for quite some time, so mostly wagon riding."

"How so?"  
"I've been dealing with kidnappers, aliens, mad scientists, miscellaneous monsters, and interdimensional threats that could have destroyed all of reality as we know it."

Calvin stared off into space for a moment, before turning to Furcifer to see how much his stories would be disregarded. To his surprise, the psychologist appeared to be listening very intently to what was being said. All the while writing extensively on his notepad before him.

"Interdimensional threats, you say?" he said, looking up at Calvin with genuine interest.

"Occasionally."

"As in, threats not of this reality?"

"No, same reality," Calvin replied. "Different dimensions and universes, typically. Endless universes make up a dimension, endless dimensions make up a reality is the technical explanation, here."

"Is this a term you yourself have developed?"

Calvin thought for a moment. "I suppose… I have seen both the creation and destruction process of all three layers, and for how often I traverse through them, it helps to have terms to refer to them by."

"And what are in these universes and dimensions?"

"Different universes are nothing too weird," Calvin explained. "I need not explain string theory here, but basically different variations of our own universe, as well as mirror universes and the like. Some universes are radically different from our own, some aren't. Some are simply exactly the same in every detail, except you're wearing a slightly different colored shirt. It's when you get into the different dimensions that stuff starts getting really Stephen King like. Smoke monsters, shape shifters, carnivorous yaks... basically everything hates you and wants to kill you. And I'm sure there's more things in there that I haven't even seen yet."

"And you've seen them?" Furcifer asked.

Calvin nodded. "I've barely scratched the surface, doc. Look at it this way, you know how everyone thinks that space is the final frontier, and all of the interesting things we will find are out there with different planets, ecosystems and alien species? The things you see in alternate dimensions kick all of that right out of the water. Life there doesn't follow the same set of rules that we abide by. Things are different, things are weird, things are dangerous, and because of that I have come to find exploring them to be more interesting than being in space."

"How do you traverse through them?"

"MTM, usually."

"MTM…," Furcifer repeated.

"An invention of mine. It stands for Mini Time Machine as that was originally going to be all it was used for. I just kept adding different features to it over the years and the name stuck."

"What all can it do?"

"More things than I can list off in a twenty minute session. And more than I'm sure you will believe."

"Try me."

Calvin thought for a moment. "Time travel, time pausing, teleportation, laser and lightning weaponry long range organic and non-organic scanning equipment, and if I may toot my own horn for a moment, perhaps one of the most advanced AI programs on this planet."

"How did you make it?"

"A lot of trial and error."

Furcifer continued writing on his pad. "What about your friends? Do you have many?"

"I have three people I consider close friends, and then a prankster that kind of just follows us around everywhere."

"Can you describe them to me?"

"Certainly. We got Andy, he's kind of the sarcastic moral compass of the group. Sherman, who's the genius who occasionally gets on all our nerves, Socrates who has made it his life goal to annoy all of us and my best bud, Hobbes."

"Tell me about Hobbes."

"Well, I say Andy is the moral compass, but that title also belongs to Hobbes," Calvin explained. "Guy's been my bud for as long as I can remember. Can be a bit annoying at times, but what friend isn't? In the end, having a tiger as a friend has quite a lot of advantages."

Furcifer nodded and continued writing on his notepad. He paused for a long time before he spoke again, as if trying to find the perfect way to say what was on his mind.

"I'm going to propose an interesting idea to you, Calvin." He said, finally. "I ask that you humor me on it."

"Sure."

"Have you ever considered the idea that your friend isn't what he seems?"

"No," Calvin said, simply.

Furcifer paused. "Have you ever thought that Hobbes might just be a toy?"

"Well, that's a rather mean thought. I'm not _that_ much of a jerk to him."

"No… an _actual_ toy," Furcifer corrected him. "As in… a stuffed animal? Bought at the store? A figment of your imagination, if you will."

"Oh… _Ohhhh_ , I get it," Calvin said, snapping his fingers. "Right, right that makes sense."

There was a moment of silence in which Furcifer watched Calvin simply nodding to himself. "So... have you?" he asked.

"No, never," Calvin sniffed. "That is quite literally the most preposterous idea ever presented to me."

"Why do you say that?"

"Well, let's ignore the fact that he has the ability to move around and speak of his own free will," Calvin explained. "Let's also ignore that he has done things on his own without my presence, shaking your imagination theory quite a bit. But consider the fact that his personality is completely unique on its own and completely different from me. We differ on ideals at times and sometimes he really irritates me, as I do him. If Hobbes was, as you say, a figment of my imagination, not only would he blindly agree with everything I said, but he also wouldn't be capable of interacting with Andy, Sherman or Socrates."

"They all interact with him?" Furcifer asked.

"Indeed they do. So unless you're going to tell me Andy is also a figment of my imagination, I think your theory has fallen flat."

"Interesting," Furcifer said, writing more on his pad.

"What prompted _that_ idea?"

"Sheer curiosity," he smiled, looking back up at him.

Calvin raised an eyebrow before he shrugged, and leaned further back into his seat.

When the time was up, Furcifer asked Calvin to remain in his office for the time being. "Would you like some toys? I have some blocks and cars in a basket over here… Some crayons and paper, if you're artistic…"

Calvin picked up the crayons. "Actually, I think I could get in some work on my next big project. Hobbes and I are going to travel back in time in a few days and study the Renaissance and 'photo bomb' a painting."

Furcifer smiled benignly and exited the office.

He found Mom and Dad still waiting in their seats. They stood up eagerly when he entered.

"Well?" Mom asked.

"Fascinating child…," Furcifer replied distantly.

Dad blinked. "That's… reassuring? I think?"

"What did you find out? Is he okay?" Mom asked.

"Well, bear in mind that this is only the first meeting," Furcifer explained. "But I _did_ learn a few interesting things. His life, his friends…"

"Well, _friend_ ," Dad corrected. "He really only hangs out with Andy."

"He also mentioned some others. A 'Sherman', a 'Socrates', and a 'Hobbes'. Hobbes, in particular, seemed to be close to him…"

Mom shook her head dismissively. "Hobbes is a stuffed tiger he carries around with him. He tries to make everyone think he's real, but he's not fooling anyone."

"Yeah, he once tried to convince us that 'Hobbes' made a mess in the living room," Dad said. "Said it was in a tiger's 'nature' to messily devour toast and jam in mid-air."

Mom chuckled. "And then there were all those times he came home from school and said Hobbes 'pounced' him… Seemed to actually believe it himself."

"Indeed…," Furcifer said, stroking his beard. "Has this only been recent?"

"Oh, no, he's been dragging that thing around for years," Dad said. "Guess we've kind of gotten used to it…"

Furcifer nodded. "Well… beyond that, he doesn't _seem_ to be displaying any signs of post-traumatic stress disorder… but we've only scratched the surface. I'd like to have him back for another session."

"Oh, certainly," Dad said. "We could bring him back in a couple weeks from now."

"Hmmmm… could you possibly bring him sooner? I have plenty of space in my schedule for him next week. Maybe even in a few days."

"Thanks, but no. We're going on our annual camping trip this week, so we'll be out of town."

"We could cancel, though, if it would help Calvin!" Mom said eagerly.

" _No_ , we _couldn't_ ," Dad said with a stern glare.

Furcifer raised an eyebrow. "I see… Where do you go camping?"

"Oh, we rent an island in a lake off I-25. Gorgeous place. We go there every summer."

Furcifer seemed to be weighing his options. He was quiet for a few seconds as his eyes rolled around in thought. Finally, he nodded. "Very well. I'll email you the details for a follow-up appointment for two weeks from now."

"Thank you," Mom said gratefully. "I really hope you can help him."

"As do I, madam," he replied. He turned and opened the door to his office. "Okay, Calvin, it's time for you to go home. I hope to see you again real soon."

Calvin was sitting next to a stack of papers that he had accumulated. He had several crayons out and was working frantically. "Yeah, just a minute," he said, not looking up. "I just need to add a few more blood stains to Stupendous Man's enemies…"

"… What?"

"For my comic book I'm making!"

"… I thought you were blueprinting your trip to the Renaissance."

"Huh…? Oh! That! Yeah, I got a little sidetracked… I'll just…"

He gathered up his papers and got them in a neat pile. He left the crayons in a mess on the floor before getting up and hurrying through the door to his parents.

"Did you and Dr Furcifer have a nice chat, Calvin?" Dad asked as they walked out the door.

"Meh, it was okay," Calvin said. "Seemed to have a screw loose…"

They walked out the door to the hallway and disappeared.

Furcifer stood in the doorway to his office for a long moment. He glanced over at the secretary sitting behind the glass wall. He reached into his pocket, pulled out a remote control and pressed a button. The secretary flickered and blinked out of existence. She had been a hologram.

Turning around, he stepped back inside his office and took note of the name on the door that said 'DR FURCIFER' in white letters. He shook his head and slipped it out of the frame before slipping a different name in it that said, 'DR NEMINEM'. He rearranged some of the photos on the desk so they were facing outwards again, showing that he was in none of them. He took the crayons and slipped them back into the box. Then straightened things out again, making sure everything was in its proper place before slipping out the door and towards the hallway.

He was just starting to peel his face off when he heard footsteps coming from the opposite way and frantically stuffed the edges back into his collar. He turned around and saw a thin older man in a tweed jacket coming up the hall, carrying a briefcase.

"Can I help you?" he asked as he approached.

"Oh, no, no!" Furcifer replied quickly. "So sorry. I think I had the wrong room. I'll just be going."

"Are you sure? I'm Dr Neminem. You're not my one o'clock appointment, are you?"

"No, no, no, I'm just… looking for a way out. Mistook your office for the exit."

"I… see… Well, it's just down the hallway, first door on the right."

"Ah, thank you. I'll just get… going, then," he said awkwardly before shuffling past the other man and walking rather stiffly up the hall.

Dr Neminem watched him uncertainly for a few moments before shrugging and entering his office.

Hearing the door close, Dr Furcifer broke into a sprint and made it to the stairwell. Upon entering, he checked up and down, making sure no one was coming or going. Seeing no one, he slumped against the railing and sighed with relief.

"Ugh… it's so weird being around people again…"

He reached under his neck and pulled again, and the time, he got his face all the way off.

It was Retro Griffin.

His thick poofy hair that encircled his bald head exploded into freedom, and he rubbed his cheeks to open his pores again.

"Well!" he said calmly. "So… he thinks the tiger is real, hmmm? And those aliens that landed… Something has _definitely_ happened to reality. And I need to figure out what… Sounds like I'm going camping this weekend," he chuckled.

Then, as he quieted down, he heard his voice reverberate throughout the stairwell.

"I've been locked up too long. I'm _still_ talking to myself," he muttered.


	3. A Spot of Tension

The sun had risen over Calvin's neighborhood, chasing away the shadows of the night and highlighting the dew on the grass. Some families were gently easing into this lovely summer morning, brewing coffee, getting the paper, taking a whiff of that fresh air and getting ready for work.

All except one house.

"I can't believe we left it this late! Come _on_ , people! Let's _go_! Chop-chop! Hup-two-three-four! ComeoncomeoncomeonCOMEON!"

Calvin's dad was running all over the house like a maniac, trying to frantically get his family to their vacation destination on time. He had everything packed and ready. All the clothes, the bug spray, the camera, the binoculars, the books, the sun tan lotion, sleeping bags and so forth were jammed into various suitcases and duffel bags, all set for the vacation of a life time.

Unfortunately, no one in the house was really in the mood to deal with his nonsense, so they all went about their normal boring getting up routine. Calvin poured himself some Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs while Hobbes made toast, and Mom had a cup of coffee with some granola while reading the paper.

Dad was running past them every few minutes with some new asinine problem.

"We need be there fifteen minutes ago! Come _on_! What are we waiting for?"

"Scheduling to have one last bowel movement before we go," Mom said dryly. "I'm going to miss that toilet these next seven days."

"You packed toilet paper this time, right?" Calvin asked, glaring at his dad.

"Yes, I _did_. Although, I think we could've gotten by on leaves…"

A pair of withering stares were cast his way, but that did nothing to deter him, and he turned from the room, grumbling and complaining.

Thirty minutes later, it was about time to go.

Just outside, Andy, Sherman and Socrates were coming up the sidewalk, having agreed to see their friends off before they were whisked away to the usual camping trip. They were just approaching the walk when they saw the door burst open, and out came Calvin's dad, frantically carrying duffel bags and shouting like a drill sergeant.

"Left! Right! Left! Right! Come on! Kick it in gear!"

The observing trio took a step back as he swerved around and threw his bags at the car. They thudded against it and hit the pavement, making him realize he had forgotten to open the trunk. He yelled angrily as he pulled out his keys and proceeded to unlock it.

At a much more relaxed pace, Calvin and Hobbes came down the steps from their house. Calvin had his hypercube in his hands while Hobbes carried a duffel bag as well. They joined their friends while Dad turned and ran back into the house.

"Good morning, gents," Calvin said genially.

"I see your dad switched from decaf again," Andy remarked.

"He's going to burst a blood vessel at the rate he's going," Sherman observed as the older man ran out with more bags.

"And me without my camera phone," Socrates sighed disappointedly.

"Well, anyway," Hobbes said. "We'd better load up and ship out. We've got mosquitos to swat."

"Try not to get sunburned," Sherman advised. "Surefire path to skin cancer in your fifties."

Calvin blinked. "Thanks, Sherman. We'll keep that in mind." He addressed the group. "Anywho, we know that you guys are more than capable of looking after things on your own." He glanced at Socrates. "For the most part." Ignoring the affronted expression, he continued. "But bear in mind that things happen, and if really _big_ things happen, call the MTM. We'll come a-runnin'. Seriously. Anything to get off that darn island."

"And you're absolutely certain you've _got_ the MTM this time, right?" Andy asked, raising a skeptical eyebrow.

"Of course, I do!" Calvin exclaimed. He reached into the hypercube and pulled out the old CD player for all to see.

"Only because I kept reminding you to pick me up," MTM snorted. "You're not leaving me out of the fun _this_ time!"

Hobbes snorted. "Fun, he says."

"And you've got all your inventions on you as well?" Sherman asked. "Didn't leave anything behind?"

" _No_ ," Calvin grumbled, holding up the hypercube. "Got 'em all in here. Even the ones I hardly ever use."

"Did you remember to go potty?" Socrates teased.

"Yes! Jeeze! Get off my case, _mom_!"

At that moment, Mom came down the walkway with a couple bags and tossed them into the trunk. "Come on, Calvin! Say goodbye to Andy and get in the car!" She thudded down in the front seat.

Socrates looked affronted. " _Just_ Andy? What're me and Sherman? Nothing?"

"Yeah, I'm getting a somewhat anti-furry vibe from your mom," Sherman agreed.

"Your folks _are_ kind of weird about that," Hobbes said. "I mean, I don't _mind_ bathing in the washing machine, but it's still kind of weird."

Calvin sighed. "Come on, Hobbes. Time to get our motor running." He shook hands with Andy. "Andrew – keep us informed."

"Roger," Andy replied.

"Sherman – let me know if you get the satellites lined up so we can start work on that project."

"Indeedy-do," Sherman replied, saluting.

Hobbes shook Socrates's paw. "Crateso – there's a neighbor down the street who lets his dog poop in our yard. Do something about him, please?"

"With immense pleasure," Socrates agreed.

Dad finally came running out of the house. "Come on, Calvin! Get the lead out! In the car! Now!"

Calvin heaved a heavy sigh. "So long, boys," he said. "Let's go, Hobbes."

Hobbes heaved the duffel bag into the trunk, and they boarded via the backseat.

Dad jumped into the driver's seat, started the car, and almost ran Andy, Sherman and Socrates over as he reversed onto the road and onto the highway.

"No wonder he needs to commune with nature! The old man can't drive!" Socrates cried.

They watched as the old car disappeared into the distance.

Andy glanced at the hamster on his shoulder. "… _What_ project?" he asked suspiciously.

Sherman merely smiled innocently.

* * *

A few hours later, Calvin's family had arrived at their destination. They parked their car in the allotted area, rented the canoe and paddled across the massive lake towards the island. They were soon ashore, and one by one, they all climbed out of the canoe and onto dry land.

"Well, here we are!" Dad announced happily. "Home away from home!"

"No TV, no electricity, no air conditioning, no walls," Calvin grumbled.

"No coffee," Mom added bitterly.

"Oh, come on, gang! Let's get into the spirit of camping!"

"Dad, there's a spirit of Christmas, a spirit of giving, team spirit, school spirit, Holy Spirit, ghostly spirits, Spirit Week, spirits up, spirits down, sinking spirits, in the spirit of, the spirit is willing, a horse named 'Spirit' – heck, I heard once you can actually _buy_ spirits! – but there is no such thing as the spirit of _camping_."

Dad glared at him while Mom did her best not to start laughing.

"Come on, dear," she snickered. "Let's unload everything."

"Starting with the tents," Calvin agreed. "Let's build our fortresses against the mosquitos and other bitey-bugs that inhabitant this pebble."

"Oh, come on!" Dad cried. "Let's go out for a nature walk! We can take pictures of all the trees and birds and rocks and make a photo album of them to remember it all!"

"If we do that, does that mean we're not coming back next year?" Calvin asked hopefully.

"Dear, we took pictures of this place last year. We don't need new ones. I doubt anything's changed in the last twelve months," Mom reminded him.

"But suppose the other campers have been through here and made changes? Done something… I dunno… different? With the landscape?"

"Dad, in all the times we've come here, I don't think I've _ever_ seen any evidence of any other campers. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that we're the only ones _foolish_ enough to even _try_ to camp here. I don't know how the rental place stays in business."

"Okay, okay, enough with the negativity," Dad grumbled, pulling the bags out of the canoe. "Let's unload and get this vacation started."

"'Vacation'," Calvin snorted as he grabbed his own bag and had Hobbes slung over his shoulder. "What a joke. Vacations are supposed to be relaxing. A chance to enjoy some luxury after a hard life in school or at work."

Dad chuckled condescendingly in the midst of setting everything down. "Oh, son of mine… That's not how it works. Everyone thinks that vacations are supposed to be relaxing times of laziness, but they _should_ be a time for invigoration! A time for adventure! A time for exploration! A chance to unplug and hear yourself think! Improving yourself!"

"Why can't we ever improve ourselves in a heated chlorinated swimming pool in a nice motel? Why can't we ever have adventure at a theme park and ride a tilt-a-whirl? Why is it we're always exploring the same ding-dong-dang island every stinking year? We've already learned all we can from this place! We _hate_ it! Let's try something else! How about LA?"

"It's frightening how good he is at making solid arguments these days," Mom remarked.

"Oh, he is _not_ ," Dad snorted. "Camping is _wonderful_. It's what I always wanted to do when I was a kid! Just get out there and see the beautiful outdoors! Commune with nature! It's something we can share as a family!"

"But we _hate_ it! Mom hates it! Hobbes hates it! _I_ hate it! What's the point anymore? We're not solving anything! We're just repeating the same old story _every year_! Why are you so dead set on bringing us to this deserted rock?!"

Dad looked momentarily uncertain before he gritted his teeth to steel his resolve. "Just unpack, Calvin. We'll have fun once we unpack."

"No, we won't! We never _do_! You're just dragging us through the same thing you always do! We're going to wind up hating it! I want to go home to my TV and my electricity!"

"Well, too bad!" Dad snapped, finally losing his cool. "Because we're going to stay here and have a good fun vacation whether you like it or not! I'm going to show you that _this_ is the best way to live! Out here, getting up before the sun comes up, fishing on a lake, swimming, hiking, filling the day with all the invigorating fun we could ever _dream_ of back in the real world! No more distractions, no more phones ringing, no more secretaries who can't just _ignore_ the phone, no more expectations, no more deadlines, no more supervisors barking at us! No more of modern society! We are going to live like man was meant to – outdoors without any of that horribleness you _dare_ to suggest we have in our home! Understand?!"

He had hoped his speech would be enough to silence his son, but it only seemed to invigorate him.

"Oh, I _understand_ , all right! You're just forcing us to put up with your Robinson Crusoe fantasies so you don't have to go back to a job you _hate_ for a while. So you can pretend that you're somebody who didn't sell out and settle for a profession he can't stand! Am I 'understanding' well enough for you, Dad? Huh? Am I?"

Dad's face was turning red with fury. "Why, you…!"

Finally, Mom stepped in between them. "HEY!" she shouted. "That's _enough_! Knock it off! We came all the way out here to be together! _Not_ to commune with nature, and _not_ to make anyone suffer! This is our family vacation!"

"Oh yeah?" Calvin snapped. "Well, as a member of this so-called family, I have to put up with rotten camping trips, shoveling snow off the walk, learning to ride a bike, doing things I hate, and for what? So I can – all together now – build character? Well, frankly, I've had it. I've had enough of 'character'. I've had enough of my dad the nature nerd. I'm done. Just done."

He picked Hobbes off the ground and stormed off into the woods.

"Where are you going?" Mom asked.

"Nature walk! That's supposed to be the big _fun_ we're supposed to be having, right? Come on, Hobbes."

Calvin stormed into the woods, carrying his stuffed tiger all the way.

His parents just stood there. Mom was stunned into silence while Dad was breathing heavily to calm down. He took his glasses off and pinched the bridge of his nose in anger.

"Oh, that kid… One day…"

Mom sighed heavily. "You know, you could stand to try a little harder sometimes. I know parenthood wasn't your first choice, dog lover, but you keep putting your interests first."

"Excuse me?"

"Well, think about it. You never want to compromise on these things. You always have to have your way. Camping vacations, bike riding, outdoor activities, etcetera. You just can't seem to understand that our son has interests that differ from yours."

She put a hand on his shoulder.

"And you need to realize that there's nothing wrong with that. He's never going to be able to pursue his own interests if you keep forcing _yours_ on him."

Dad went quiet for a moment.

Mom could see in his head working to comprehend her words. It put her in mind of a big rusty tractor attempting to plow a field.

"Well…," he said at last, "… his interests mainly include attacking the neighbor girl with various projectiles, making up lies to get out of trouble and talking to a stuffed animal."

Mom smirked. "I know, but hey, he's seven. He'll grow out of it soon. Start learning who he is and what he wants to do with his life."

Dad nodded distantly. Mom could see a hint of sadness in his eyes. "I just wish… you know… we could bond over stuff like this."

"I know, dear. But you never know. Maybe you'll find something else to bond over someday. Something you _both_ enjoy."

"Yeah… as long as it doesn't involve electronics."

Mom rolled her eyes. "Come on, Mr. Caveman. Let's get set up. Give him some time to cool off."

Dad nodded and got the tent duffel bag.

* * *

Out in the woods, Calvin and Hobbes walked along the well-worn path they had taken so many times during previous vacations.

"Thinks he can just tell me what to do…," Calvin grumbled. "Thinks he can make me like what _he_ likes… Just because _he's_ miserable with _his_ rotten life, he's gotta drag _me_ down with him…"

Hobbes cleared his throat. "Do you actually need me here with you? Because you seem to be doing pretty well just talking to yourself."

Calvin glared at him. "Hush up. Can you believe Dad? Acting like I gotta be a tiny version of him. That's all he wants. Some obedient little boy who does whatever he wants and likes whatever _he_ likes."

"Well, he's got his work cut out for him…"

"He just doesn't understand that I'm an individual! I'm not some sponge that's just going to absorb whatever _he_ does! I mean, suppose I just do _everything_ Mom and Dad do, huh? Suppose I start a book club, become a patent lawyer and comb my hair every day? Like some kind of _freak_?"

"Yeah, well… your dad's a fanatic, no question there…"

"Exactly!"

" _But_ …"

"No! No 'buts'! I'm totally one hundred percent in the right on this one!"

"… He just wants you guys to bond. I mean, it just sounds like a communication problem."

"We communicate just fine!"

"Yeah, I'm sure the folks on the freeway heard you two going at it. You need to figure out what you guys have in common. Other than shouting."

"Oh, gag me! Dad and I do _not_ have anything in common! Don't be sick! I'm not going to have _anything_ in common with that nut! Not a thing! I'll unspool my own DNA if I have to! I will _not_ have anything in common with _him_!"

And on that note, he stormed away into the brush.

Hobbes watched him walk away. "I don't know how he does it," he murmured. "Straight through the poison ivy, every year…"

As he followed his irate friend through the woods, he failed to notice something up in the tree behind him.

Or rather, some _one_ …

It was Retro, sitting in the limb of a very tall tree, observing them with a smug grin on his face. He had observed the argument – how could he not? – and was terribly amused by the tension in the family. The shouting, the insults, the mockery – it reminded him of his own family.

Satisfied, he slowly climbed down, making sure the boy and the tiger were truly gone. He went off into the bushes and weeds to find his own little camping spot. He'd arrived the day before and mowed down some shrubs to give himself a place to prepare.

In the middle of the clearing was a singular device. He'd been waiting a long time for this. Time to put it to work. It was rectangular in shape with a long hose with a helmet attached to it.

Emblazoned on the front was the name.

IMAGINATOR 2.0

Retro smiled giddily. It was time to begin.


	4. Message Sent

Andy's eyes burst open as he gasped in a breath of chilled air. For a while, he simply lay motionless in the grass, his breathing labored as though he had not been doing so for the duration he had been out. Each breath sent a strange surge of pain through his shoulder.

Slowly, he raised his head slightly to take in his surroundings. The moon was casting an eerie blue illumination over him as he saw trees stretching out towards a massive decrepit looking coal tower. Strange brick walls were scattered through the forest, seemingly at random, as if they were remains of houses that had been violently demolished.

The boy sat up and massaged his shoulder, slowly looking around with growing feeling of dread washing over him.

"Where am I?" he whispered.

Leaning against a tree for support, Andy slowly began standing up, trying his best to ignore the pain that flooded his body with every movement. He didn't remember how he had gotten to this place or even what he had been doing prior to now. His memories were a haze and fuzzy as he struggled to remember the simplest of things.

" _All right Sherman, I'm heading off to bed now."_

" _Lock the door on your way out, please."_

" _Yes, mother."_

Andy shook his head. "Sherman…," he mumbled, finally starting to fully regain his balance. The pain in his shoulder was strangely beginning to subside and he was beginning to feel his energy returning to him. Finally starting to become more aware of things around him, he began moving towards the coal tower. It might have been the atmosphere or the whole situation in general, but as he approached, he couldn't shake the ominous feeling that was building up inside him.

The coal tower creaked and moaned as he approached. Peering through the gaping entrance way, the room was strangely empty save for a few crates stacked neatly in each corner.

He walked in, his footsteps echoing with each step. He came to a flight of steel stairs that seemed to lead upwards towards a catwalk. He studied the stairs for a moment, before climbing up them. As he reached the catwalk, he peered out over the landscape outside from the adjacent windows along the wall. The forest was eerily still. The trees and grass sitting motionless in front of him, almost like he were standing in a photograph.

His eyes scanned over the surroundings searching for any kind of movement or life at all in any of the scenery. Even the sight of a wild animal would calm his nerves at this point. Then he saw it.

In the corner of his eye, off in the distance, he caught movement behind one of the trees. He stared after it for a moment, before he raced down the steel steps and back outside, out of the coal tower. He looked in the direction of the movement, searching for what could have made it, but to no avail.

He hesitated for a moment, trying to decide what the best plan of action was at this point, and finally decided to investigate it further.

As he began moving towards the direction of the movement, he noticed something new. The air drew colder as he realized that there was a sound emanating throughout the entire forest. A sound that had been present the entire time, yet he had previously disregarded it as the atmosphere of the place he was in. Whispering. Andy strained to hear what was being said as he heard the sounds of voices quietly whispering from all around him. They didn't even seem to be coming from any particular direction. They were simply all around him.

No matter how hard he listened, Andy couldn't make out what the voices were saying. They were too quiet and too distant. He continued moving forward, casting cautious looks over his shoulder as he had become more aware of these ominous sounds that were surrounding him.

Finally, he reached the tree where the movement had been. He looked around, seeing nothing of any particular interest. The trees were still and the night sky above him were the only indication that he was still even on Earth.

He sighed, and shook his head. He was letting the uneasiness of this place get to him. He needed to find his way back home or at the very least, if anybody else he knew had been pulled into this strange place.

He turned to head back towards the coal tower. His eyes widened and his jaw dropped as he stared at was in front of him. His breath fell short and he suddenly felt weak in his legs as he began trembling violently.

The creaking he had heard were not the trees.

Every thought in Andy's mind was to get away and hide. To escape. To find help. But he knew that this was something new. And it would know wherever he went.

"Andy? Aaaandy… _ANDY_!"

Andy's eyes burst open, and he screamed as he saw a familiar fuzzy face staring back at him.

"Dang it, Socrates!" Andy shouted, backing up against his wall, and looking around in terror. He was back in his room, in his bed. He was drenched in a cold sweat and breathing shallowly as he stared at the red tailed tiger sitting on his bed.

"Sorry, did I interrupt a good dream?" Socrates asked.

"No… No, quite the opposite…," Andy moaned, rubbing his head. "No, I'm… I'm kinda glad for once that I got woken up."

"Ooh, what was it? Was it one of those being chased nightmares? Those are my favorites!"

Andy stared at the tiger for a short moment. "You have _favorite_ nightmares?"

"Yeah… You don't?"

"No… No, I don't."

"Well, you're weird, then," Socrates sniffed. "So what was it?"

Andy paused for a moment. The dream was already starting to fade from his memory. The only thing he could remember were long jagged black and red legs, almost like that of a spider's.

"I… I don't remember," he sighed. "What are you even doing here?"

"Yes, I seem to be having a slight problem," Socrates nodded. "You see, ever since I got home, I've been having a—RRRRRRRRGH…!"

Andy's brow furrowed as Socrates suddenly convulsed on his bed, and began speaking in a staccato voice.

"ER-ROR! ER-ROR!" he shook his head and breathed heavily. "Yeah, that… That's been happening. I'm figuring it's your communication chip, and I'd really like it to stop."

"Hey, it's not _my_ communication chip. It's not like it was _my_ idea to put it in there…"

"Regardless, I'm sure ol' furball knows what's going on, and this is making it considerably difficult to sleep.

Andy sighed, as he threw the covers off himself. "Fine, come on."

* * *

The lights in the lab were dim, seeing as how neither Andy nor Sherman was completely awake yet. They glared up at the screen as reams of computer data danced across it, showing all the various components associated with the communication chip.

Socrates sat on a stool next to the screen with three electrodes attached to his head. Two on either side with one on his forehead. He sat with his legs crossed and his fingers interlaced in his lap, humming quietly as he was soothed by the hum of the computers.

Sherman wiped some sleep out of his eyes, trying to stifle a fifth yawn. "Okay…," he said quietly. "Going through all the software updates… Everything checks out so far."

"Well, keep digging!" Socrates insisted. "Those guys are still trying to contact us, and it's driving me _crazy_!"

Sherman sighed and continued his search. "Okay… Getting through to the communication relays… Ah ha!"

"What 'ah ha'?" Andy asked.

"There's _definitely_ a message trying to get through. But there's something blocking the signal. It's really putting up a struggle."

"So how do we unblock it?"

"Hmmmm…," Sherman murmured as he typed frantically at the computer. "It's incredible… It looks like someone created a scrambler to prevent the signal from reaching us. But it's transmitting from here on Earth, so it _should_ be possible to reverse it."

"Should be?" Socrates repeated.

Sherman started typing frantically as he spoke. "Well, this is a very complicated and intricate countersignal being transmitted here. It's full of constantly changing computer calculations that have quantum-locked command codes that are almost impossible to hack and rearrange and… There. I'm in."

The screen changed to a sound wave file.

"It's a voice message from Galaxoid and Nebular," he said, scanning over the details.

"Well, play it, and let's see what the heck is going on," Socrates said.

Sherman clicked the 'play' button, and Socrates began transmitting the message.

" _Earth Potentate!_ " Galaxoid's voice said through the tiger's mouth. " _Dire news! We hope this message reaches you in time! Retro has escaped from his prison! We have only just managed to transmit this message due to his meddling, but he fled our world at least a month ago! Please call us back!_ "

The message ended.

Andy, Sherman and Socrates all looked at each other in bewilderment.

"Well…," Socrates said at last. "That'll teach me to procrastinate…"

* * *

Back on the island, Calvin and Hobbes were sitting in their tent, reading comic books. Their walk through the woods had done little to improve Calvin's mood following the argument with his dad, so he had spent most of the day avoiding his parents. He and Hobbes had spent the whole day walking around the beach, so they were pretty much exhausted and ready to call it a night.

The MTM, of course, had everything they needed, including snacks, so there was little reason to endure the awkwardness of a shared meal with his parents. He and Hobbes had enjoyed fried chicken with macaroni and cheese, and they were just polishing off some ice cream cones for dessert.

"I feel kinda bad for your parents out there eating beans and spam for dinner," Hobbes said. "Maybe we should share with them."

Calvin glared at him. "Dad would never accept it. You know what he's like. If it's not cold, runny, dry or painful, he won't eat it."

"True… it's so weird watching him chug prune juice on his day off. I get chills."

At that moment, there was a tap at the tent flap, made by someone's finger.

"Calvin?" It was his mother.

Calvin and Hobbes quickly tossed the remnants of their ice cream cones into their mouths and chewed quickly.

"Yeff?" Calvin asked, trying not to sound like he was talking through a mouth full of food.

Mom undid the zipper on the tent and poked her head inside just in time to see Calvin gulp something down. She looked around the small enclosure he'd been in for the past few hours, but she didn't see anything out of the ordinary. Just a stuffed tiger, a CD player and a rubix cube stood out amongst all the comic books.

"Everything okay in here?" she ventured.

Calvin tried to look nonchalant. "Yeah, everything's fine. What is it?"

Mom crawled inside and revealed she was carrying a plate. "Well, you didn't come out for dinner, so we saved you some spam and beans."

Calvin looked at the two brown substances that sat upon that poor paper plate. The aroma was not a friendly one.

"Uh, no, thanks, Mom," he grunted, turning his nose up at it. "I'll survive til morning."

"Calvin, you haven't eaten anything since lunch. You need to eat _some_ thing. Now come on. Eat up."

Grimacing in sheer disgust, Calvin took the plate, staring at the light brown lump of spam that had a plastic fork sticking out of it as if it had just been brutally murdered.

Mom sat down awkwardly in the tent, trying to find the right words to say to him. "Calvin…," she said quietly. "I know you're angry about this trip. I'm not exactly thrilled about it either…"

She was looking at the floor of the tent, lazily running her fingers along the tiny rocks and pebbles underneath. It was a tad strange talking to her son like this.

Calvin, however, was trying to unload his unwanted dinner. While she wasn't looking, he held it out to Hobbes, who scowled and scooted away from him.

"But that's no reason for you and your dad to argue," Mom continued, glancing up just in time to see Calvin sit up straight again, pretending he was paying attention. "He only wants what's best for you, you know."

Calvin snorted. "Oh please. Dad doesn't care what any of us think. None of us enjoy camping. We tell him this every year. But he _insists_ on dragging us out here. Why? Because it's what _he_ wants to do. If he could go out and make some actual friends to do this kind of thing with, he wouldn't need us for it. So he drags us out and makes us sit through it just so _he_ can enjoy it. Doesn't matter what _we_ think. Just as long as _he's_ happy."

Mom heaved a sigh and rubbed her eyes tiredly.

As she was doing this, Calvin took note of his hypercube. He pressed a button on it. An ethereal glow emitted from the top, opening up the dimension inside. He quickly dumped the spam and beans inside.

"I know your dad's a nature nut," she said, "but he just wants to share it with us. It's his passion, and he wants to experience it with the people he cares about."

She took her head out of her hands and stared straight ahead, as if she were trying to convince herself of her own words.

"And when you love someone, you have to accept them for who they are."

Calvin finished depleting his dinner and closed the hypercube. He sat up again, showing the empty plate and discarded fork in his lap just as Mom turned to look at him. He quickly pretending to be munching something before swallowing.

Mom stared at the empty plate in bewilderment. "Did you eat that whole meal in just five seconds?"

Calvin smiled innocently.

"… You must've been hungrier than I thought. Now aren't you glad I brought you dinner?"

"Oh, sure," he replied. "Ever so grateful."

She took the plate from him. "Well, I'll leave you be for now. Your dad and I are going to bed. We'll see you in the morning," she said.

She leant over and gave him a kiss on the forehead before turning to go.

"Hobbes wants a kiss, too!" he said, holding his stuffed tiger up to her.

Mom rolled her eyes but leaned in and gave the toy a kiss on the forehead. She reversed out and zipped the tent shut.

Hobbes still looked a tad annoyed. "She never looks all that interested when she kisses me goodnight," he remarked. "I wonder if she'd have this problem if she wasn't married."

"Oh hush," Calvin grumbled, kicking off his shoes. "Let's get some shut eye. Then we can fully enjoy being trapped her for yet _another_ day."

"Oh joy of joys," Hobbes sighed as he pulled his sleeping bag open and crawled inside.

The two friends got as comfortable as they could on the hard ground, closing their eyes and trying really hard to get some sleep.

Of course, about five seconds later, they sat up and turned the lantern back on.

"Can't sleep," Calvin grumbled.

"Me neither," Hobbes agreed.

"MTM – do we have any games we can play?"

MTM thought for a moment. "The only one I think we brought was a deck of cards in the hypercube."

"Oh good," Calvin sighed. "Maybe we can play 'Go Fish' or something…"

But when he pulled out the deck of cards, he found that they were covered in spam and beans. The two friends stared at the messy playing cards.

"Fantastic," Hobbes grunted. "How much of our stuff did you spill your dinner on?"

Calvin held up the hypercube and looked inside. "Dang… looks like a few comic books have spam stains on them."

"Oh great. Now every time we try to read them, we'll be reminded of this trip."

* * *

Mom had changed into her nightgown and crawled into her tent she shared with Dad. He was reading a small book by the lantern he'd set up behind their pillows.

"You're sulking," Mom noted.

"Am not," he replied.

"He got under your skin, didn't he? Poked a raw nerve."

"He's just so… I don't know…"

"Opinionated?"

"It just bugs me. My dad never would've done _half_ of what we do for him. And he has the nerve to think I'm just trying to make him miserable."

"Oh, don't drag your dad through this," Mom sighed. "You two barely even talk anymore. You have Max acting as a go-between."

Then a thought occurred to her.

"Is that what you're worried about? That he's taking after his grandfather?"

Dad shuffled uncomfortably. "Well… neither of them appreciates nature in all its splendor. My dad always wants the latest thing. Never wants to stop and relax."

"I know," Mom said, putting a hand on his shoulder. "I've heard his podcast."

Dad finally set his book down, accepting that he probably wouldn't be doing any reading tonight.

Mom put a hand on his. "Is this why you're so intent on staying in the past? Is this some kind of latent teenage rebellion? You know, technology is nothing to be scared of. It's just a useful tool in everyday life."

"It is _not_ a tool. It's a distraction. It's a mind-numbing substance – practically a drug! And everyone on this planet is addicted to it!"

Mom sighed. "That _wasn't_ a cue for a rant," she said pointedly. "I feel like you're dodging the issue here."

Dad sat in silence for a while, thinking about a possible answer.

Whatever that answer was going to be, they never found out because at that moment, they heard footsteps walking past them into the distance.

Mom was a tad startled. "What was that?"

Dad tried to remain calm. "Oh, it's probably Calvin. He's supposed to be in bed by now…"

He crawled out of his sleeping bag and looked outside. The footsteps had gone past their tent and into the woods.

Mom crawled out after him. "I don't know…," she said quietly. "It sounded too heavy to be Calvin."

They peered into the woods, and then glanced back at Calvin's tent. To their surprise, they saw the light was on in the tent, and the unmistakable outline of their son's spiky hair was silhouetted against it, as well as that of his stuffed tiger. He appeared to be brushing off several comic books.

"He's still in his tent," Mom murmured.

Dad shook his head. "The _one_ time I wish he was disobeying our rules," he grumbled nervously.

They looked back towards the woods.

"What do you think we should do?" Mom asked, clutching her husband's arm.

Dad thought for a few moments before climbing back into the tent. "Come on. Let's get some clothes on and find out what's going on. We may have an intruder on our hands."

Mom scanned the beachside briefly. "I don't see any boats other than our canoe…"

"It's a big island, dear. Whoever it is may have come from anywhere. Come on. We'll bring flashlights. The big heavy ones. We can probably use one as a weapon if need be."

"What about Calvin?"

"Whoever it is, they probably aren't interested in Calvin, or else they would've taken him. Probably not interested in us, either, since they didn't even attack us."

Mom blinked. "Are you 'man-splaining' this to me?"

"Come on. Let's get some shoes and pants on and see what's what."

A few minutes and a couple hushed arguments later, they were dressed and walking into the woods. Dad was in front with his trusty heavy-duty flashlight that could shine at least a hundred feet ahead, while Mom followed behind.

"You couldn't have given _me_ something to defend myself with?" she grumbled.

"Well, we didn't really plan on needing weapons," Dad replied testily.

Mom sighed heavily before turning and ripping a large thick branch off of a nearby tree. She hefted it in her hands a few times to get used to the weight and swung it a few times to get a feel for it. Then she propped it on her shoulder and rejoined her husband.

"Okay, I'm ready."

Dad raised an impressed eyebrow before motioning for her to follow.

They listened carefully for more footsteps, but for a while, there didn't seem to be any. All they heard were the crickets chirping, the mosquitos buzzing, and a few frogs croaking.

"Do you suppose we imagined it?" Mom whispered. "Might not have been anything at all."

"Well, I'd like to make sure first," Dad replied. "I don't want to take any chances."

At that moment, they heard more footsteps coming from some distance ahead of them. In fact, they sounded like they were running.

"There!" Dad hissed. "There's definitely _someone_ out here! Come on!"

He grabbed his wife's hand, and they ran together into the darkness. They stumbled over branches and through bushes, listening for the running sounds ahead of them. They zigged and zagged everywhere, trying to keep up without hurting themselves.

At last, they found a clearing. It was a stretch of land encircled by the trees. Just a few rocks and fallen branches adorned it.

What caught their attention, however, was a man hunched over a strange-looking device that sat in the center of it all. He was pulling levers and twisting knobs on a control panel, but they noticed it was attached to a massive computer as well.

"What the heck…?" Mom said in stupefied awe.

Dad aimed his flashlight at the stranger. "Who are you?!" he demanded.

The figure whipped around, shielding his face from the flashlight.

"Oh, please!" he said in a voice oozing with false pleasantness. "There's no need for that! Allow _me_!"

He snapped his fingers, and they were immediately hit by large floodlights that lit up the whole clearing. Mom and Dad were so startled that they dropped their chosen weapons.

The man lowered his hand, and now they could see his face. Long gaunt pale face, bulbous nose, large chin, bald head surrounded by poofy grey hair, but what stood out the most were his manic bloodshot eyes. He looked like he hadn't slept in days.

"Now then…," he said calmly as he stepped beside his machine. "I believe you asked me who I am… I am Retro Griffin. And _this_ is my creation – the Imaginator 2.0!"

He reached over and pulled out a helmet. It was attached to the machine via several hoses and wires. He proceeded to strap it to his head.

Mom started to reach for the branch again. "What is that thing? What are you even doing here?" she asked.

"Oh, it's a device that will create anything I desire," Retro replied, pressing a few buttons on it. "And what I desire right now… is revenge."

"… Revenge?" Dad asked, swallowing hard.

"Yes. Revenge. On the boy and his tiger."

Mom and Dad both felt their stomachs drop suddenly. "… What?" Mom asked.

"Of course, I can't just walk right up and catch them!" Retro continued. "No! That would be too _simple_! I've waited _far_ too long for this opportunity! I want them to _suffer_! And what better way than to take you two, and make _you_ suffer!"

Before Mom and Dad could do anything, the air around them seemed to ripple. Seconds later, they were trapped behind some very thick iron bars that encapsulated them. They looked all around, finding that they were now stuck inside a gigantic cage. They grabbed the bars and tugged on them, finding to their disbelief that they were real.

"Wha…?! How?! How'd you do that?" Mom cried.

"Where'd these bars come from?" Dad demanded.

"From the Imaginator! Just moved the atoms of reality itself around to create perfect iron bars!" Retro explained, trying to squelch an evil cackle that was trying to extradite itself from his windpipe. "Not to worry. You're in no danger for long. But soon, Calvin and Hobbes will be here, looking for you. And when they do, I'll be ready to spring the trap of all traps! Because they did this to me! They made me see everything! They've altered reality itself! But I shall set things right! I will ruin _everything_ for them! I will make them _see_ what they did to me! As soon as they get here!"

There was a long pause as he looked past the two troubled parents into the woods, but he didn't see anyone. He glanced at his watch.

"Well… they'll have to know that you're missing first…," he admitted. "But when they do…!"

The cackle bubbled briefly to the surface again, but he squelched it once more.

Mom and Dad looked at each other, sick with worry.

For the first time, Dad realized he should've gotten a smart phone years ago, if only so he could text his son a warning.


	5. Supplemental Exposition

Andy paced the room frantically while he waited. This was always his least favorite part of dealing with saving the world and whatnot. He had to take a backseat and watch while the others did something relevant to the plot. Sometimes, being the "normal" member of the team sucked big time.

He glanced up at his other two friends, who were hard at work with their current problem. Sherman was trying to establish video contact with the planet Annkor, home of Galaxoid and Nebular, but this was difficult without the MTM's precision communication program.

"The _one time_ Calvin remembers to take him with him," the hamster muttered grumpily.

Meanwhile, Socrates was sitting on his stool with the electrodes still attached to his head. He was trying to help by maneuvering his head this way and that, trying to aim the cranial chip in a direction that would be beneficiary to the cause. Of course, Sherman had explained multiple times that the chip didn't work like that, but the red-tailed tiger was tired and bored, so he was up for just about anything to occupy himself.

Andy remembered Elliot telling him that he'd given Socrates a fidget spinner for Christmas one year, but he'd gotten bored with it when he found he couldn't download music onto it.

At long last, after a tense half hour of computing, Sherman finally let out a whoop of relieved joy. "Got it!" he announced. "Found them! Let's see if I can reach them!"

The massive monitor in the middle of the room flickered into life before a load of static blazed across the screen like a furious blizzard. Andy and Socrates joined him at the console, peering up at it.

For a long time, nothing happened.

"… You know, that message was kind of old," Andy pointed out. "I doubt they were waiting by the phone for us these last few days."

"If it's important enough to call us _twice_ , I would _hope_ they'd at least be anticipating a response," Sherman replied irritably.

Socrates shrugged. "Well, it's not like Retro's invading _their_ planet. Probably just decided to let us fend for ourselves."

But a few moments later, they heard a familiar pair of voices.

"… _Hello…_? _Hello_? _Is_ this the _Earth_ Potent _ate_?"

Sherman adjusted the frequency a bit so that the voices came through a bit more clearly.

The static continued to plague them for a few moments until they were finally face-to-virtual-face with the grey-skinned one-eyed pointy-hatted Galaxoid and Nebular.

"Oh, it's you three," Nebular said. "Where's the Earth Potentate? It's urgent!"

"On vacation," Andy replied. "What's up, guys?"

"And what do you mean by, 'you three'?" Socrates added, sounding offended.

Galaxoid pressed on. "Well, if you got our message, you know that the human scientist Retro has escaped."

"Yes, although I'm not one hundred percent certain we should call him a 'scientist'," Sherman noted.

"Or 'human', if you want to get philosophical about it," Andy added.

"How the heck did he even escape?"

"Well, after he orchestrated the invasion of our planet," Galaxoid explained, "we decided to increase security on him to make sure he didn't cause us anymore trouble. And for a long time, he didn't. Seemed to finally calm down considerably. In fact, he appeared to go catatonic. Just staring off into space all day whenever we checked up on him."

"Did you actually give him anything to do?" Sherman asked. "I mean, trapped in a cell all day seems a tad taxing on the human psyche. Big problem we have with prisons here on Earth."

"Oh, certainly," Galaxoid said. "We tried giving him activities, mental stimulation, light entertainment. He rarely showed any interest, however. Just stared off into space. We had guards on him day and night, monitoring his actions."

"So how did he escape exactly?" Andy asked.

Nebular cleared his throat awkwardly. "Well, it transpires that he didn't really go catatonic. He was just faking it for the guards he _didn't_ pay off."

Socrates blinked. "Wait… 'Paid off'? Paid off _how_?"

"As far as we can tell, with the promise that he'd make them rich once he was ruler of our planet. They'd seen him take over the world once, so they knew he was capable of doing it again. Just had to appeal to the absolute worst in them."

"Once he had enough guards on his side," Galaxoid continued, "he spent the next few years making his escape plan. His guards would sneak him anything he needed."

"Needed for what?" Sherman asked.

"… Everything he needed to build a new Imaginator," Nebular said uncomfortably.

"A new _what_?" Andy asked.

"Oh, wait," Socrates said, realizing. "Calvin and Hobbes said it was this machine used to bend reality and make anything in your imagination come true."

"How is that possible?"

Sherman shrugged. "Well, it's certainly possible to rearrange the component atoms of an object and transform them into something else. To just produce something out of thin air, though… Not saying it's impossible, obviously, but it's certainly unlikely."

"Considering we saw it happen ourselves, yeah, it's possible," Nebular said shortly.

"Except the original version was massive and made up of several computers and such," Galaxoid said. "Using our advanced technology, Retro was able to make the new model smaller and easier to carry. Once he completed construction, he used it to imagine a door out of his cell. The guards led him to the rockets, whereupon he killed them and stole a ship. He transmitted a signal scrambler to get through the transduction barriers and escaped."

"That was a few months ago," Nebular added. "We tried to find him, but he was too quick. When we realized that he was on his way to Earth, we tried sending a warning, but he used another scrambler to prevent the communication chip from receiving it. He also used it to hide the ship he used to get there."

"Our people were planning to search the planet themselves, but we thought it prudent to alert the Earth Potentate first and give you a chance to prepare your own search."

"How considerate," Socrates deadpanned.

"Well, we'd better phone Calvin and Hobbes and let them know what's going on," Sherman said.

"They're on vacation, though," Andy pointed out. "Do you think they'll appreciate having to ditch their trip to deal with _this_?"

Socrates snorted. "Andy. They're _camping_. They'll _jump_ at the chance to deal with this."

"Luckily, I have the MTM's number on speed dial," Sherman said, pressing a few buttons on his console. "Normally, I enjoy the challenge of typing all thirty digits, but I understand time's a factor here…"

* * *

Calvin and Hobbes were sound asleep in their tent. They had finally finished cleaning up the mess from within the hypercube and had spent the last hour trying to actually get comfortable in their sleeping bags. It seemed that no matter how much padding and cushioning these things came with, they were never enough to help them ignore all the rocks and pebbles protruding up into them. Calvin's parents had joked that this delicateness meant their son was a princess, which had only further infuriated their girl-hating child to the point that he smashed a vase with a baseball bat to shut them up.

So for nearly an entire hour, the two friends had tossed and turned, desperately trying to get some sleep. They just _knew_ that Dad was going to try and wake everyone up at the crack of dawn so he could fail to convince them to join him in fishing. He just didn't understand why people wanted sleep so badly. Unless Calvin and Hobbes were bounding down the stairs for Saturday morning cartoons, in which case, he'd be yelling at them to pipe down.

Calvin had mused on whether or not he should've brought a mattress with them. While it would've been more comfortable, he wasn't sure it would've fit in the tiny pup they'd been provided with. Of course, that led to the consideration that he'd probably get a much bigger tent. One with enough room for all the amenities needed by a twenty-first century person, including satellite dish, fridge, internet access and ball pit. But of course, his skinflint of a father would never go with it. He had to stick it out on this joke of an island in horrible conditions.

These thoughts had plagued him the whole night. How he wished he could just kick back and sleep in an instant like Hobbes. After a few difficulties, his friend had dropped like a rock into dreamland. Something about cats, Calvin figured. They could sleep anywhere. Probably even a bed of nails if he was tired enough. He'd listened as his friend slept soundly through the whole thing.

Calvin, meanwhile, had been plagued by the usual late night thoughts. Ruminations about the previous day, his life, the future, and all the other things designed to inspire insomnia. Night time was supposed to be a time for peace and recharging, not constant worrying about life and mortality.

Still, he had finally fallen asleep and was about to enjoy some nice dreams when he was woken up.

MTM unexpectedly began emitting a ringtone that was a playing of _I've Got a Lovely Bunch of Coconuts_. This wouldn't have been a big deal if it was a quiet gentle version of the song. Instead, it blared with an intensity one would normally associate with heavy metal music.

" _I'VE GOT A LOVELY BUNCH OF COCONU-U-U-U-U-UTS! THERE THEY ARE! STANDING IN A RO-O-O-O-O-OW! BIG! ONES! SMALL! ONES! ONES AS BIG AS YOUR HEAD! GIVE 'EM A TWIST! FLICK OF THE WRIST! IT'S WHAT THE SHOWMAN SA-A-A-A-A-A-A-AID!_ "

Calvin and Hobbes had been woken up and tossed out of their sleeping bags by the noise, almost taking the tent down with them. They fumbled around in the dark with the usual disorientation that comes with just being waken up, and then came the crushing realization that it hadn't been a dream – that they really _were_ on a camping trip. They crawled around in circles, bumped into each other five times and made a general mess of the place trying to find the MTM and turn that dang thing off.

" _I'VE GOT A LOVELY BUNCH OF COCONUTS! EVERY BALL YOU THROW WILL MAKE ME RI-I-I-I-I-ICH! THERE! STANDS ME WIFE! THE IDOL OF MY LIFE! SINGING THROW A BOWLER BALL A PENNY A PI-I-I-I-I-I-I-ITCH!_ "

Finally, Hobbes' feline hearing was able to direct him over towards the artificially intelligent CD player. It was buried under some blankets by their pillows, somehow not muffled by them all. It was a small bizarre mercy that the music didn't get any louder when he found it. He pounded on the plastic silver casing a few times before he finally found the button that turned it off.

The resulting silence was deafening.

A few moments later, the MTM spoke. "You've got an incoming call."

Calvin and Hobbes were frozen where they sat, panting heavily and trying to get over the shock.

At last, Calvin spoke. "Well… at least now when my psychiatrist asks me why I'm a jabbering wreck for life, I can say it's because I didn't set the MTM to 'vibrate'."

Hobbes felt relief as the ringing in his ears began to die down. "MTM, _why_ were you buried under those blankets?"

"What? A CD player can't be tucked in at bedtime?"

Calvin rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. "Who the heck is calling us this late at night?"

"Who do you think? Andy, Sherman and Socrates."

"Ugh. This had better be important. Put them on speaker phone."

MTM's lid popped open, revealing the speaker grille within. There was a brief beeping noise before the voices came through.

"Calvin speaking," Calvin sighed.

"Hey, Calvin!" Andy's voice said awkwardly. "Um… how's the trip?"

"Sucks. Next question."

"Er… is this a bad time?"

"Yes. Next question."

Hobbes felt the need to interject. "Andy, it's coming up on three in the morning. We were asleep, and are about to fall _back_ asleep. Unless the world is about to blow up, we're not interested."

"It's just that… well, we finally got that call from Galaxoid and Nebular. Kind of important."

"Oh, what do they need help with now?" Calvin demanded irritably. "Why the tides rise and fall? Why do fools fall in love? Who put the bop in the bop-sha-bop? _What_?"

"Retro has escaped from Annkor."

Of all the things that Calvin had been prepared to sarcastically list, that one probably wouldn't have ranked very high. In fact, short of another alien invasion, it was the one thing he was very likely to take seriously. He looked over at Hobbes, and even in the dark, he could see the dread in his glow-in-the-dark eyes.

"… When did he escape?"

"A few months ago, apparently. They've been trying to track him, but they only just recently confirmed that he's on Earth somewhere."

"Oh joy of joys," Hobbes sighed. "Does this mean we have to go defeat him?"

"Sounds like it," Calvin replied. "Remember what he's capable of. He's a mortal human man who figured out how to bend reality to his will. Suffice to say, the guy's dangerous. You think his hologram was bad? His hologram was what he would've been like if he'd been relatively sane and thinking straight. _This_ is a Retro who's been stranded in a cage on an alien planet for at least a decade of suspended time. So yeah, we're doing this."

Hobbes nodded thoughtfully. "Sound reasoning. Plus, it beats the heck out of camping."

"Indubitably." He spoke into the MTM again. "Okay, Andy, we'll teleport over in a jiffy. Just gotta pack a few essentials. Hobbes, check and make sure Mom and Dad are asleep. Don't want them poking their heads in here to check on us only to find we've evaporated."

"Check."

Hobbes crawled out of the tent. He immediately regretted it.

Upon his arrival on the island's beach, he saw that the other tent had gone dark, indicating a lack of activity within its canvas walls.

He also noticed that the vast rocky forest that usually took up the middle of the island had now been replaced by some sort of gothic-themed freak show. Large stone gargoyles lined the entrance to some bizarre dense jungle, which was full of bizarre-looking trees and plants that towered over him.

Hearing a loud screech, he looked up. There were odd-looking birds swooping in the night sky overhead, making otherworldly noises as they flapped their massive wings. He could also hear the roars of strange creatures lurking in the night, stomping around in the distance.

Bemused by all of this, Hobbes chanced a look over his shoulder at the lake. The water still seemed ordinary. The canoe was still safely onshore. The distant glow of the dock lights assured him that reality was still there. In fact, he could still see the headlights of cars on the highway going past the rental shack.

So it wasn't the _whole_ world altered. Just their little island. Fantastic.

Sighing heavily, Hobbes turned and re-entered the tent to find Calvin still packing his things. The boy looked up.

"Well, are they asleep? We need to motor."

"Yeah, ixnay on the otormay for right now," Hobbes replied wearily. "Come take a look at what's out here."

Calvin raised an eyebrow and walked outside, carrying the still-open MTM. When he emerged, he saw the gothic hellscape that awaited them. He stared up at it in shock for a few moments, looked back at the shore, and then up at the new jungle again.

At last, he heard Andy's voice through the MTM.

"… Calvin? Calvin, are you there? Hello?"

Snapped out of his surprise, Calvin held the MTM up. "Sorry, Andy. Looks like we've already found Retro."

There was a loud screech as a huge reptilian creature came swooping low over them, causing them to instinctively duck as it went by.

"… and it looks like we're dealing with this ourselves."


	6. Best Served Cold

Retro walked back and forth in front of the cage Mom and Dad were currently sitting in. He grumbled to himself as he did so. He'd spent the last half hour using the Imaginator to alter the terrain. He reasoned that the more of a challenge he made it for Calvin, perhaps it would making the waiting easier. Sadly, this was not to be, and he was still growing impatient.

"That stupid kid should have been here by now…," he growled.

"He always was kind of a heavy sleeper…," Mom noted.

"I have literally transformed this whole island into a hellish nightmare!"

Mom and Dad exchanged glances.

"He's _really_ a heavy sleeper…," Dad emphasized.

"Fine!" Retro started towards the cage. "Then you two call out for him! Call for help!"

"I am not leading my son into a trap!" Mom spat. "Plus, do you really think I could get him to come try and save us when I can't even get him to get up for school?"

Retro growled to himself and continued pacing. He paused for a second and chuckled.

Mom and Dad watched him with frightened fascination. They felt well and truly out of their depth. It was like something out of an old sci-fi movie they used to watch as teenagers. Those cheesy black-and-white flicks about mad scientists creating robots to fight mummies or turn people into werewolves. Somehow, they were trapped in some kind of weird b-movie storyline.

Retro leaned against his machine with a thoughtful expression, indicating that his thoughts had drifted elsewhere. "You know, in a weird kind of way, this is kind of my fault," he mused.

"No kidding?" Dad grumbled.

Retro either ignored him or seemed not to hear him. "When worlds collided between Calvin and me the first time, things changed so incredibly drastically…"

"What do you mean the first time?" Mom asked.

"It was many years ago… I barely even remember it myself, to be honest. But I know he was a different person back then. As I'm sure you've probably noticed…"

Mom and Dad looked at each other again, a bit thrown.

"Erm… No, he seems pretty much the same as he's always been…," Dad said uncertainly.

"Well, of course _you_ wouldn't notice," Retro sighed. "I had an older model of the imaginator back then. He destroyed it. But it was at a cost."

Retro sat down on a nearby log that had been apparently dubbed his exposition seat.

"Reality was altered when Calvin destroyed that machine. It turned all of his fantasies into a reality. Well… all the _primary_ ones, at least. His inventions… His adventures… The aliens… The monsters… His _stuffed_ _tiger_ , even…"

"You're insane..." Dad said, slowly. "Nothing has ever changed... There have been no 'alterations to reality'..."

"Do you really expect to have noticed it?" Retro asked, raising an eyebrow. "You do so well to pushing it all off to the sidelines. The off-comment, here and there. The days you don't see him, either playing outside or cooped up in his room, so you think. The unexplained sounds that you chock up to your own imaginations. Have you ever wondered how his stuffed tiger moves around the house on its own?"

Mom and Dad paused, staring at him.

"Erm… He would move it…," Mom said, slowly.

"Really? Even when he was at school?" Retro asked.

"Okay, this is ridiculous!" Dad exclaimed. "You are not going to convince us that _Hobbes_ is alive!"

Retro chuckled. "No?"

"No, of course not! That's absolutely ridiculous…"

Dad turned to Mom, waiting for an agreement. But Mom is simply staring off into space, slightly. Deep in thought.

"Right, dear?" he prodded.

"Huh…? Oh, yeah… yeah, right," Mom said, absently.

"Remembering a couple things?" Retro asked innocently.

"No… I'm just… I don't know," Mom sighed.

"What do you mean you don't know?" Dad asked.

"It's just... Dear, there was one time I got up around three in the morning to get some water. When I went into the living room, I saw Hobbes sitting on the couch, with the TV on."

"So? Calvin had snuck out of bed and was watching TV."

"No, but that's the thing… When I brought Hobbes back upstairs, Calvin was fast asleep. He wasn't just pretending, either. He was actually asleep… And the TV was on the National Geographic channel. Calvin never watches that."

Dad paused, as he mulled that over.

"Well, I… I'm sure there's a lot more logical explanations for that other than 'Calvin's toy is alive'," he concluded.

"And this is why you never notice it," Retro said, crossing his legs. "So desperate for some form of normality, that you push out any kind of possibility of something more."

Mom and Dad stare at Retro uneasily. They were really starting to not know what to think.

* * *

"You sure we're going the right way, right?" Calvin asked.

He and Hobbes were slowing cutting their way through the dense jungle in front of them. MTM's lasers were cutting through the vines with ease, as they stepped through, making their way forward.

"Nah, I'm sure my bio-scanners are pointing me in the wrong direction for no reason," MTM replied flatly.

"Hey, this is Retro we're dealing with," Calvin added. "The guy can literally create all this in a few seconds, I think he could probably mess with your hardware."

"Uh… guys?" Hobbes inquired.

Calvin turned to look back at Hobbes. The tiger pointed behind him. They watched as the vines slowly reattached themselves, enclosing the path from which they had come.

"Oh… _That's_ a thing…," he said, finally.

"Oh, we'll be fine," MTM yawned. "I can get us back to safety."

"I sure hope so, cuz this is a little unsettling," Hobbes muttered.

"Oh come on, you're a tiger. You're supposed to like jungles," Calvin said, continuing forward.

"Maybe jungles that aren't going through weird rebellious goth phases…"

As they continued through the dense vegetation, the two began picking up on voices. Calvin paused and strained to listen, before he grinned triumphantly, and began moving forward at a faster rate.

Finally, he cut through a particularly dense bit of vines and emerged into a clearing. He and Hobbes looked around, curiously.

There was a crude campfire built next to a tent as well as several bags and suitcases. Beside all of it was a tall cage with two familiar people standing inside of it, staring at him, in shock.

"Hi," Calvin said, finally.

"You… got out of bed…," Mom said, finally.

"I know. First time for everything, right? So… a cage huh?"

"Calvin, he wanted you to come here and try and save us! It's a trap!" Dad called out.

"Oh, I have no doubt on that," Calvin nodded. "It's just… a cage…"

"What about the cage?" Mom demanded.

"I dunno, I guess I just expected more. All of his imagination at his disposal and he picked a common, bland cage… I would have at least put a design on it. Maybe a logo. Something that grabs people. Then you can market it and make some actual money off of it."

"Calvin…," Mom sighed.

"Right, right, sorry. I'm on it."

Calvin stepped forward, when all of a sudden he heard an unnervingly familiar sound.

He paused, as he heard screeching coming from the vines and bushes around him. Then, several large green and black feathered deinonychus leaped from the shadows and surrounded the boy.

Mom and Dad gasped in horror.

"Oh no! Calvin!" Mom shouted, racing to the bars.

"Calvin, _run_!" Dad screamed.

One of the dinosaurs chirped and growled as it began moving in towards the boy.

A wide, intense grin spread across his face. "This is... AWESEOME!"

Hobbes turned a concerned look onto Calvin.

"Wow…," Calvin grinned, looking the deinonychus up and down as it slowly moved towards him. "Do you remember the last time we saw one of these guys, Hobbes? Good times, good times…"

"Yes, quite vividly. We nearly died."

The deinonychus bore its teeth at Calvin menacingly. His grin was unchanged.

"Yeah… It was pretty great…," he sighed.

"I figured you'd like them."

Calvin, Hobbes, Mom and Dad both turn and see Retro emerging from the darkness, glaring intently at the boy.

"Retro," Calvin nodded. "It's been a hot second."

"You could say that," Retro said, darkly.

"I'm guessing you're not all too happy, right now."

"You left me."

Calvin nodded. "I did."

"You left me to die… on an alien planet… You took away what little I had and you…"

"Oh, come off it," Calvin interrupted irritably. "It's not like I could throw you in some Earth prison and expect you to not get out."

"I mean, that's what we did with Rupert," Hobbes offered. "That kinda worked out for a few months."

"Yes, Hobbes. A few _months_ ," Calvin said. "A few months verses nearly thirteen years. Also it's not like Rupert was really surrounded by competence."

"Fair," Hobbes shrugged.

"And what's more," Calvin continued, readdressing Retro, "it's not like you were going to reform into a normal functioning human being any time soon. You made a machine that physically manifests thoughts for the sake of being evil. Who _does_ that?"

Retro continued glaring at Calvin, before he snapped his fingers. The deinonychus cawed and screeched, before jumping back into the brush and out of sight.

"None of that matters anymore, child."

"Right, cuz you're gonna exact your revenge and all that good stuff, right?"

"Well, yes and no," Retro smirked. "Really, my intention is to simply return reality to what it's supposed to be again. You wouldn't be against that, now would you?"

"Is something _wrong_ with reality?" Calvin asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh come on, Calvin. You talk to me about alternate universes, the void, and creatures from beyond. Clearly you aren't a fool, so you must just be blind."

Calvin and Hobbes looked at him like he was a two-headed gazelle.

"Can you fill me in then?" Calvin asked, crossing his arms.

"Certainly. I would love to."

Retro's eyes went to Hobbes. The tiger looked back and forth uncomfortably.

"Hello, Hobbes," he said in a disconcertingly mellow tone.

"Erm… Hi…," Hobbes said, uneasily.

"How are you feeling today?"

"Fine, I guess... Little bit of a stomach ache from some bad spam, but other than that..."

"A shame. You know, when we first met, I couldn't speak to you," Retro said, slowly circling the two.

Calvin and Hobbes gave the two-headed-gazelle look again.

"What the heck are you talking about, Retro?" Calvin demanded. "You're starting to cross over into crazy-surgeon-guy territory."

"I guess that's just always something that I wondered," Retro said, ignoring him. "Whether or not you could actually feel."

The mad scientist then turned away from the confused Calvin and Hobbes towards the equally confused parents sitting in their little holding cell.

"Tell me, what do you two see when you look at Hobbes?" He said, motioning towards the tiger.

Mom and Dad looked over at Calvin. Hobbes was draped over his shoulder as he always was. Small and lifeless, staring back at them with his blank marble eyes.

"I don't know what you want us to say?" Mom said, slowly.

"I want you to say the truth," Retro said, patiently. "What do you see?"

Mom and Dad exchanged glances, before they sighed.

"I see Calvin's stuffed animal." Mom sighed. "The same stuffed animal he's had all his life."

"Exactly," Retro grinned. "In a moment, your son will see that too."

"Not sure what you're getting at here, Retro," Calvin interjected.

Retro turned a spiteful yet calm look back onto Calvin. He walked over to where his Imaginator was sitting.

"Because _this_ , Calvin… _This_ is my revenge. I am going to fix everything that is wrong with the universe. Right _now_."

He reached for the helmet, from which Calvin quickly responded by firing a laser from the MTM at him.

The laser bounced harmlessly off of a force field around the chuckling Retro.

"You really think I didn't prepare for that?" he grinned, placing the helmet onto his head.

"Whatever you're doing, Retro, just stop!" Calvin warned. "If you do anything to my friend, then the gloves are off…"

"I'm not going to do a thing," Retro said, an evil grin spreading across his face. "I'm just applying a band aid where it's needed."

"I'm going to give you one chance, Retro," Calvin growled, still aiming the MTM at the mad scientist. "Put the helmet down! You do anything to Hobbes, and I might do some things I won't be proud of later."

"Ooh, such scary words from such a small boy," Retro chuckled. "But there's nothing you can do now."

Retro flicked the switch on the Imaginator.

And everything went white.


	7. Seeing For the First Time

Calvin blinked his vision back into focus. He watched the world before him blur and distort as he tried to make all the different blobs resemble tangible objects in his head. He tried swiveling his head a few times to help, but that just made it worse. It was so infuriating, having no idea just what had happened and how badly things had been screwed up. He managed to hold up his head, but that just made his head all swimmy.

Letting out a small groan, he tried massaging his scalp. He missed three times, and when his hand finally found his head, it just produced a bad case of throbbing. It was like people were crushing his skull with lots of rocks. How had this happened? It was like his whole head had been rewired. He decided the best course of action would be to just stay still for a few million years and see if that helped.

About seven seconds passed before relief began to soothe him and the pain faded, meaning he wouldn't be waiting so long after all. Glad of that, Calvin set about clearing his thoughts and trying to remember what had happened.

Retro had pushed a button the Imaginator, saying he was going to repair reality – whatever was wrong with it – and he'd blacked out.

What else…?

Oh, right. Something to with… Hobbes.

Calvin's head still hurt too much to actually swivel left or right, so searching for his friend was a little difficult. He tried moving his eyes, but they throbbed a bit as well, frustrating him to no end.

He had to get up. He had to find his friend. He had to make sure…

But then he felt a large hand come down on his shoulder. He looked and saw that it was a furry white paw, which was attached to a long fuzzy orange-and-black arm.

Hobbes peered down at him, rubbing his own head with his other paw. "You okay?"

"… Think so," Calvin replied uneasily. "How're you?"

"No different than I usually am. Something tells me that's not what Retro had in mind, though…"

Remembering their adversary, Calvin sat up a bit, starting to feel more like himself. "So… what happened?"

They looked by the Imaginator and saw Retro was slumped against the Imaginator, the helmet still on his head, and clearly just regaining consciousness himself. Calvin discreetly put a hand on the MTM to make sure he could fight in a hurry.

Not that he felt he could. None of them were in any fit state for a battle scene.

Retro removed the helmet from his head so that he could massage it carefully. He muttered something about needing to turn down the setting before he turned and really properly registered what was happening in front of him.

He saw Calvin and Hobbes, both on the ground, rubbing their heads and looking at him all confused.

It was like Retro's entire face collapsed. He went from shock to horror to disbelief to fury within about three seconds. That's one point three emotions per second. Impressive for a guy coming out of the equivalent of a hangover.

Finally, he found some words. "Wha…? Why is…? He's supposed to be…! You're not supposed…! That's…! What?!" Followed by a shriek of fury.

They weren't the words he _wanted_ , but they were all he could spout right now.

Calvin managed a sardonic smile. "Guessing that's not what you were going for, huh?"

"No! He's supposed to be a toy! Like he was _before_! This is wrong! This is completely and utterly _wrong_! Why didn't it _work_?!"

"Maybe you flooded the transmission?" Hobbes suggested innocently.

" _You_ just be quiet! I'm going to figure this out and get _rid_ of you!"

Retro turned around and immediately began checking all the settings on the Imaginator.

"Well…," Calvin said at last, "… that was anticlimactic."

"Considering I'm still alive and breathing," Hobbes said, "I'm gonna reserve criticism of the evil plan and just think about kicking his butt and handing him over to the authorities."

"Agreed. Let's get on it."

They were just getting to their feet when something rather unexpected happened.

Calvin's mom screamed in horror.

Suddenly remembering that his parents were basically being held captive in a large cage, Calvin looked in their direction. He saw his parents looking at them with a look of absolute terror on her face.

"What? What is it?!" he asked, looking all around.

Nothing looked any different than it had before. No sign of the dinosaur that had terrorized them – it had probably been scared off by the flash. So he couldn't figure out what his parents were freaked out by. He looked to Hobbes, but he didn't see anything either, merely offering a confused shrug.

Dad pointed his long skinny finger in the tiger's direction. "Th-th-there's a _tiger_ right there!" he stammered, shaking badly.

Retro had stopped working at the scream, but now he was _really_ interested. "What?!" he cried, running over to the cage. He slammed into the side, causing Mom and Dad to leap backwards in fright. " _You_ can see the tiger?! It's not just a toy?! You see it, too?!"

"Yes, we can! How? How can it be there?!" Mom cried, clutching her husband.

Hobbes cleared his throat indignantly. "Um, excuse me, but 'it' has a _name_ …"

Dad's jaw fell open. "And it _talks_?!"

"Last time I checked…"

Calvin warily approached the cage. "Mom? Dad? Are you okay? You _do_ remember Hobbes, right?"

Mom stared at him for a moment, trying to comprehend everything. "Wha…? _Hobbes_? That's _Hobbes_?"

"Yeah, Hobbes! Lives in our house, eats all the tuna, sleeps in the sunbeams, pounces me frequently… We share a bed, for crying out loud!"

"But… but it _can't_ be Hobbes, can it?"

Hobbes looked at them in cautious concern. "You guys _do know_ I live with you, right?"

During all this, Retro had run back over to the Imaginator, going over its settings frantically. "I don't understand!" he exclaimed, drawing attention to himself. "This was supposed to _reset_ reality! All the settings are correct! Reality should be back to its _true form_!"

"Well, clearly, something went a tad bit _wrong_ ," Calvin snapped. "Because now my parents don't remember Hobbes."

"Or at the very least, they don't remember that I'm a tiger," Hobbes said, peering into the cage. "Although, I have to admit – this is the first time we've genuinely conversed on any level…"

Mom and Dad just stared at him in shock, cowering together against the far wall of the cage.

"No!" Retro shouted. "This is _wrong_! I won't accept this!"

They all watched him checking the Imaginator over, noticing how absorbed he was in the process.

"A thought occurs…," Calvin said. "Perhaps we should do something while he's distracted."

"I think I can just about handle that," Hobbes replied.

The tiger reared up and leapt across the clearing to Retro, pouncing the older man and sending him crashing to the ground. They rolled around on the dirt until he finally had the lunatic pinned down, growling fiercely in his face.

While that was going on, Calvin ran over and used the MTM to break open the lock on the cage, allowing him to open the door for his parents.

Retro, however, was not so easily trapped. He managed to slip one hand free and shoved Hobbes off of him, kicking him backwards before grabbing the Imaginator and hustling it into the vast jungle around them.

Hobbes rubbed his sore middle. "He _kicked_ me! Dirty rotten jerk _kicked_ me! Right in the gut! I keep _food_ in there!"

"And he's got the Imaginator," Calvin grumbled. "So now he's got the power of his brain on his side. Even if he couldn't do whatever the heck he wanted with that thing, he can still do a lot of damage."

Then they heard a familiar roar coming from the trees.

Mom and Dad yelped, but Calvin and Hobbes both just shook their heads disparagingly.

" _Knew_ we forgot something…," Hobbes muttered.

The dinosaur came thudding out of the jungle roaring and growling at them.

Mom and Dad backed away. "Calvin, come on! We need to get out of here!" Mom shouted.

"And go where, exactly?" Calvin asked, not taking his eyes off the dinosaur.

"Into the cage! Maybe it can't get us in there!" Dad suggested, trying to grab his immobile son's shirt so as to drag him into this plan.

"Yeah, where we'll be trapped. Good plan, Napoleon."

Calvin began to edge sideways to the left, unknowingly out of his parents' reach and towards Hobbes, who was nervously edging towards him as well. Both were keeping their eyes locked on the dinosaur in case it did something.

"Okay…," Hobbes said quietly. "Do we _really_ feel like wrestling with this big dumb thing?"

"No, not really. Hang on."

Calvin pulled out the MTM and aimed it at the dinosaur. This only seemed to rouse it, as if it knew what was about to happen and wanted to act before they did.

"MTM? Could you possibly subdue this big guy for us?"

The dinosaur roared in his face.

"Quickly, please?!" he added hastily.

Just as the dinosaur was about to leap on them, there was a gently ' _thwip!_ ' from the MTM as a small dart flew out and embedded itself in the dinosaur's neck. The large creature juddered to a halt, mere inches from our heroes. Its eyelids fluttered briefly before it keeled over and went beddy-bye right there in the dirt.

Everyone stood over it, trying to breathe normally as it slept.

"… Okay! Got _that_ dealt with," Calvin said at last. "Now we need to get after Retro."

Hobbes cleared his throat. "Um… first things first."

"What?"

His friend pointed, and Calvin followed his gaze, noticing his parents looked like they were both on the verge of a nervous breakdown. They were holding onto each other desperately, trembling with fear. Realizing the delicacy of the situation, he decided that maybe tact would be a decent approach for a change.

He walked over to them, noting how they didn't seem all that well.

"Are you guys okay?"

They looked down at him like he was an alien creature. It wasn't the first time they'd given him that look, but typically, it was accompanied by some level of irritation. Now, it was accompanied by fear. Almost like they didn't trust him.

Dad finally got his brain working and spoke. "Calvin… how did you do that?"

"Do what?"

"You just… made the dinosaur… You held up your CD player and it kinda… fell over… How?"

"Oh, just a simple tranquilizer dart. Nothing to worry about. It'll wake up in due time. Unless you want to get into the semantics about whether or not an imagined creature is alive to begin with…"

Mom backed up and hid a bit behind her husband. "But… _how_? How does a CD player fire a _tranquilizer dart_?"

"I've got all sorts of defense mechanisms installed in the MTM. Still trying to get the boxing glove arm installed for the next time I meet Moe on the playground…"

Dad blinked. "… Son… what in the _heck_ is going on?"

Calvin shrugged. "Just the end of the world. Nothing major. We do this sort of thing all the time, remember?"

"… We do?"

"Well, not 'we' as in you, me and Mom. I mean 'we' as in me and Hobbes."

Hobbes waved half-heartedly from over by the snoring dinosaur.

Mom cleared her throat. "But… Hobbes is a… I mean, he used to be a small… and now he's a great big… walking, talking, living, _breathing_ …"

"Yeah, he's always done those things! Why don't you remember any of this? It's like, you _know_ him, but you're seeing him for the first time. What'd Retro _do_ to you?"

"Maybe we can undo whatever the Imaginator did if we catch up with Retro," Hobbes suggested.

"Good idea. We need to track him. MTM? Any thoughts?"

"I can detect him in the jungle," MTM replied. "Shouldn't be hard to find."

Mom and Dad jumped at the new voice.

"Who said that?" Mom demanded.

"I did," said the MTM.

They both looked down at the beat up old CD player their son was holding.

"Your CD player _talks_?" Dad demanded.

"Yes, I do," the MTM said pleasantly.

"Your tiger talks, your CD player talks… Do you have anything _else_ that talks?"

Calvin stared at him. "Dad, let's not get silly, okay? We have work to do. MTM – you can track Retro?"

"Yeah, the Imaginator whatsit is pretty easy to trace. Tech like that has a very distinctive energy source."

"Sweet. Then we can find him fairly easily."

Mom chanced a look up at the sky. "Er… what's up with the sky?"

Everyone else looked up as well. The sky seemed to be changing from dark blue to a wild variety of different colors, from a vibrant orange to the dullest grey. The clouds swirled around like whirlpools, and the stars swung around each other like fairy lights until everything was mixing together.

"He's putting the sky in a blender," Hobbes remarked. "If he adds a few strawberries and bananas, maybe it'll make a decent smoothie."

"But… but that's _impossible_!" Dad exclaimed.

"Dear, we're kind of _past_ 'impossible', now," Mom whispered.

"Not to worry," Calvin said. "There's still time. We just need to find the Imaginator and use it to undo all the damage he's done."

"He was really considerate to give his reality-warping machine an 'undo' button," Hobbes noted.

"Now hold on a minute," Dad said, trying to sound like he was still in charge. "You're not about to go off into that jungle by yourself, young man!"

Calvin raised an eyebrow at him. "I kind of already did, if you didn't notice. How do you I got here in the first place?"

"They have a point, though," Hobbes pointed out. "Might be good if all four of us go after him instead. More hands means more defenses."

Both parents blanched at the thought. "Wait… hold on now," Mom said nervously. "We're not about to put you or ourselves in danger going up against this guy."

"Relax, we're hardly going to go in and have a slap fight with him. Hang on, I brought my hypercube…"

"Your what?"

Calvin pulled the Hypercube out of his pocket. From the outset, it looked like an unfinished rubix cube, but when Mom and Dad looked at it, the little colored squares seemed to be blinking lights. Also, the top had a hole in it, which was extremely weird. When the boy reached inside, he pulled out a water pistol, which he tossed to Hobbes. Then he pulled out a clothespin, handing it to his dubious mother, and then a yellow plastic top-spinner with a red button, which he handed to Dad.

"What are all these for?" Dad asked.

"They're our defenses," Calvin replied. "I have the MTM, Hobbes has the transmogrifier gun, Mom has the Atomic Freezer, and you have the Time Pauser."

Mom furrowed her brow. "The… what?"

"The Atomic Freezer. You just attach it to something, and then it can either cool the temperature of something, or freeze it in a block of ice."

"… Uh huh…," she said, eyeing the clothespin doubtfully.

"And the 'time pauser'… pauses time, I'm guessing?" Dad asked, holding up the top spinner.

"Give the man a cigar."

"Right… See, I'm having trouble believing that this toy of yours can actually freeze time…"

"Well, if we end up needing it, you'll see for yourself. Everyone ready?"

Hobbes fiddled with the transmogrifier gun. "Hang on. Need to make sure everything's working."

He held up the water pistol the sleeping dinosaur, concentrated as he squeezed the trigger, and a bolt of energy fired out that transformed the creature into a giant boulder.

Needless to say, Mom and Dad were a tad alarmed.

"Okay, we're good," Hobbes announced. "Let's go chase the bad guy."

"Lead the way, MTM," Calvin ordered, holding his flat friend out in front of him.

"Straight ahead," MTM told him.

The pair walked off into the jungle, looking like they were ready for anything.

Mom and Dad stared after them in shock. They looked at the giant dinosaur-turned-boulder in wonderment.

"This is a dream, right?" Mom asked. "It's just _got_ to be a dream…"

"I hope so," Dad replied. "Although… _usually_ , nightmares are never dreams when you want them to be."

Realizing they were letting their son go off on his own, they scurried to catch up with him.

And his tiger.

Still not used to it.

* * *

Back in civilization, Andy, Sherman and Socrates came running out of Andy's house and stood on the lawn.

"You're sure they're almost here?" Andy asked.

"You doubt me?" Socrates asked, looking hurt.

"After a zillion different pranks, I'd say yes," Sherman pointed out dryly.

"… Fair point. But do you trust your chip?"

"Seeing as _I_ made it, yes."

"Then trust it! I can feel them homing in on it!"

They heard a loud humming sound coming from the distance now. They looked up at the sky, trying to spot something, but nothing was there. There was a strong wind that blew across the trees, sending the leaves swirling everywhere. The humming increased in volume until it seemed to be directly on top of them.

A moment later, a perfect circle opened in the sky, and a beam of light shot down on them, catching them.

"Told ya!" Socrates said triumphantly.

They all felt an invisible force scoop them up into the sky, much like a giant hand. They left the ground and zoomed up towards the circle, faster and faster, until they were levitating inside the pure white room of an alien spaceship.

Taking a moment for their eyes to adjust, Andy looked around and saw that the crew aboard the ship. They were all pale grey aliens, all of them with large pointed hats and uniforms, one giant eye, no arms, and tentacles for legs, but they were also of various heights and widths.

Two in particular came slithering up to them.

"Greetings, Earthlings!" said Galaxoid. "Welcome to our ship!"

"Charmed," Socrates replied pleasantly.

"Deactivate transport beam," Nebular called out.

A nearby technician flipped a switch on the control panel. The entry hatch shut, and then the beam of light shut off. Andy, Sherman and Socrates hung in the air for a moment before plummeting a few feet to the metal floor.

"You guys really need to invest in some quality carpeting," Andy grumbled.

"Or a ball pit," added Socrates.

Sherman scurried over to the approaching Galaxoid and Nebular. "Well, the good news is that Calvin and Hobbes have already located Retro. He's on an island where his family goes camping."

"Indeed?" said Galaxoid. "And the bad news?"

"Retro has already activated his new Imaginator. According to Calvin, he's used it to turn the island into some sort of hellscape prison."

"Hmmmm," said Nebular. "Sounds like quite a pickle."

"We can give your boys directions," Socrates said. "I've been to the island once – which, believe me, was _more_ than enough."

Galaxoid turned to the crowd of aliens behind him. "Mind Techs – hit him with a mind scan. Link it with the navi-comp. Let auto take it from there."

"I guess he thinks he sounds cool," Andy muttered, getting up off the floor.

"Mind scan?" Socrates asked. "What's a mind – ACK!"

A small beam of light stretched across the ceiling and hit the tiger's noggin, causing him to lock in place.

"And don't stay in there too long!" Galaxoid added. "Just locate the… well, location, and get out!"

"Huh…," Sherman said. "You know, maybe we could borrow this thing for the next time he gets too rowdy…"

"Shermie…," Andy said warningly.

The beam shut off, and Socrates fell limp like a ragdoll. "Whoa…," he murmured, rubbing his head. "That was… surprisingly painless… Feeling kinda mellow right now…"

"Location obtained," a technician announced. "Transferring to auto."

"We're on our way," Galaxoid told them.

"How long until we're there?" Andy asked.

A light started flashing overhead.

"We're there!" Nebular announced cheerily.

The trio looked at each other in bewilderment.

"Oh, right," Sherman realized. "… Spaceship."

"So now what?" Andy asked.

"We beam down," said Nebular. "There appears to be a wooden dock by the water. Perhaps we can observe the situation better from there."

Galaxoid turned to the crew. "Okay, everyone. Keep an eye on things while we're gone. And no doing doughnuts around the Big Dipper, understand?"

There was a collection of disappointed groans from the crew as they joined Andy, Sherman and Socrates on the hatch.

Within moments, all five of them were being beamed back down to the planet, finding themselves safely on the dock. It was late at night, the stars were twinkling, the moon shone bright, and the sound of distant traffic was in the air. They looked past the parked cars and peered across the gently churning water of the lake, peering across at the island across.

The island had become a dense forbidding jungle that stretched incredibly high into the air, with lots of twisted gnarled trees and shrubbery. The place was lined with gothic plinths with gargoyles holding lit torches. Every once in a while, bright lights flashed from within. The cries of strange creatures echoed about. They saw huge monsters either flying around in circles or swimming about in the water, all in some sort of holding pattern.

"Well…," Andy said after a moment. "I think this might be a bit more complicated…"


	8. The Jungle Search

The sounds of lasers firing and vines being ripped apart filled the imagined jungle on the infamous camping grounds. Calvin was swinging the MTM in front of him wildly, as the CD player cut through the dense forestry with ease. Hobbes followed closely behind him, looking over his shoulder.

"Should we wait for your parents, you think?" he said, looking over at his companion.

Calvin paused. "I dunno, should we? They can probably catch up."

"I dunno, they seem pretty out of it for some reason."

"Can't imagine why," Calvin shrugged. "Fine, we'll wait for them."

There was a short pause as the two stood in the silence. The only sounds were the roars of monsters in the distance and the clicking and chirping of birds and cicadas.

"Lovely weather we've been having," Hobbes commented.

"Hmm," Calvin said, uninterestedly as he typed into the MTM.

Finally, Mom and Dad emerged from some bushes behind Hobbes and looked around, nervously.

"Calvin… are you okay?" Mom started. "Why are we stopping?"

Calvin looked up. "Hmm? Oh, Hobbes said we should wait for you or something."

Hobbes waved at Mom and Dad who continued to look at him in shock.

"Right…," Dad said slowly. "Thanks, Hobbes…"

"No problem," Hobbes nodded. "Maybe you can thank me with a large bucket of seafood when we get home."

Calvin finished typing into the CD player and proceeded to continue cutting his way through the thick. Mom and Dad followed after them.

"So… _Hobbes_ …," Mom started, slowly.

"Yes'm?" Hobbes said, looking back at them.

Mom stuttered momentarily, trying and failing to find the right thing to ask him. "Have you always…been… _with_ us?" She winced slightly at how odd that sounded.

Hobbes stared at them for a long moment. "Erm… Yes… Yes, I have…"

There was a moment of silence.

"Um…," Dad started. He wasn't sure what to say either, given the bizarre situation. "… How?"

"How what?"

"How have you been with us?"

Hobbes blinked. "I, erm, I don't think I understand the question."

"Okay…," Mom said, trying to stay composed. "You've been with Calvin all this time?"

"I don't see why this is such a revelation to you. Are you guys sure Retro didn't do something to you?"

"I don't know at this point!" Dad exclaimed. "I can only assume we've been drugged… or dreaming… maybe we're dreaming…"

At this point, even Calvin turned to give his parents a bewildered stare. "Okay, I know you guys don't usually come on our little outings, but this is just _sad_!"

"Outings?" Mom asked. "What do you mean, 'outings'?"

Calvin rolled his eyes. "Saving the world, _traveling_ the world, traversing universes…"

"Bi-weekly space trips…," Hobbes added.

"Last Saturday, we were in the Trayoilique star system about seventy-nine billion lightyears from Earth. I dread to think how you two would have handled _that._ "

"You said you were going to Andy's on Saturday…," Mom said.

"Well, in fairness, it _did_ start out like that," Hobbes admitted.

"Wait, so… everything you've been telling us you've been doing… is real?" Dad asked.

"Did you assume it _wasn't_?" Calvin asked.

"No! Of course, we didn't!" Mom cried. "Some of the things you said were… I don't know… _out_ there…"

"Well, you can rest assured, it's all true," Calvin nodded. "Now maybe you'll believe me when I talk about what really happened during the noodle incident."

"No…," Dad said. "I don't care how many stuffed animals come to life in front of me… There's _no_ way that story is true…"

Calvin shrugged, and continued cutting away at the vines.

"Calvin…," Mom said, suddenly. "How far have you actually been from home?"

Calvin stopped and thought for a moment. "Far," he said, finally.

"Technically, we've been to different planes of reality, so…," Hobbes added.

"Yeah, distance isn't really the right term to describe it. But for the sake of the mainstream audience… I've been far."

His parents looked at each other, both looking like they might throw up.

"And… how long have you been doing this?" Dad asked.

"Twenty-three years in December," Calvin with a grin, like he was sharing a private joke. "Time flies when you're exploring, huh?"

Suddenly, the low sound of growling reached everyone's ears. The four stop and wait as Calvin tilts his head to listen.

"What was that?" Hobbes asked.

"Sounds like something wants to dance," Calvin smiled, looking off in the direction of the growling.

Suddenly, a large furry creature that resembled a gorilla jumped from the bushes and tackled Calvin to the ground.

Mom and Dad screamed. "Calvin!"

The creature roared, baring its blood stained teeth as it moved in to bite Calvin's throat.

 _ZZZZT_

As the creature's teeth made contact with Calvin's neck, it immediately stiffened and began convulsing wildly, as sparks of electricity flew from it.

Calvin calmly stood up and brushed himself off.

His parents stared at him in shock.

"How did…? What…? How…?!" they both stammered, looking back and forth between their son and the now motionless creature on the ground beside him.

"Mom… Dad… Do you have any idea how many monsters have tried to do that to me?" Calvin said, raising an eyebrow. "I installed some microchips into my shirt that go off when an unregistered bio signature touches me."

"You… You did what?" Mom asked.

"Yeah, but don't worry. Totally waterproof, so they won't go off in the wash."

"It's going to make for some interesting first introductions when you shake hands with a stranger."

"Well, I mean, come on. Socializing should have _some_ amusement factor…"

Mom and Dad were both dimly aware that their jaws were hanging open.

Suddenly, the MTM began beeping, making them jump. "Hold on, I got 'im."

"I forgot that can talk…," Mom groaned.

"I have a name, you know," MTM said pointedly.

"All right, MTM, where's he at?" Calvin said, pushing a couple buttons on the CD player.

"He's a little less than a quarter of a mile from our position." MTM said. "To the east. We're almost there."

"Well, let's go catch up, shall we?" He turned and began cutting in a different direction.

"To the east," MTM repeated.

"Right," Calvin turned and starting cutting in another direction.

" _East_ …," MTM repeated.

"I heard you, I heard you!" He paused and looked around for a moment.

Hobbes pointed towards the direction he was originally cutting in. Calvin glared at him.

"I knew that, _Hobbes_! I was just… scouting the area!" he snapped, as he turned and started cutting the area out again.

Hobbes and MTM sighed in perfect unison.

"How have we gotten anything done these last few years?" the tiger wondered wearily.

* * *

Andy, Sherman, Socrates, Galaxoid and Nebular all stared at the island in deep contemplation.

"You know, we honestly should've guessed Retro was going to do this," Socrates said, shrugging. "Seems like the type of guy who's super into redecorating reality."

Galaxoid and Nebular were pacing back and forth behind the three, looking at some handheld bits of tech that resembled tablets.

"All right, we have a calculation for how many monsters are in the water," Nebular said.

"How many?" Andy asked.

"Six."

"Oh, that's not too bad."

"Right… Only six giant sea serpents that instantly sink anything that gets in its sight. Not bad at all."

"How did you even determine that?" Sherman asked.

"Now, now, your primitive Earthling brains could not possibly comprehend the scope of our technology," Galaxoid said.

"I counted them as I saw them coming out of the water," Nebular said.

"Oh…," Sherman said, looking back towards the island. "I'm… I'm a little let down by that."

"Can't help but note that none of these creatures are headed this way," Andy pointed out. "I mean, it's like they're in a holding pattern around the island, waiting for clearance to land."

"I'm guessing they're like guard dogs," Sherman said, observing the large winged beats encircling the island. "Perhaps some sort of telepathic leash is keeping them bound to the island's perimeter."

"So Retro's not out to destroy the world or anything," Socrates said.

"His mission is revenge," Galaxoid told him. "No doubt all his energy is focused on Calvin and Hobbes right now. Stands to reason his creations would focus on them, too."

"Okay, so what are we going to do?" Andy asked. "Obviously we can't take a boat to the island. Can we take the spaceship?"

Galaxoid and Nebular exchanged glances. "I mean, probably. But we have to be high enough that those creatures don't see the ship."

"That shouldn't be a problem, would it?" Sherman said.

"It would if we want to accurately touch down on the island." Nebular said. "If we aren't close enough, we might end up teleporting right into the water with the sea monsters."

"Okay… so it sound we can't set on the island as it is… What about finding _them_ and bring them _up_?"

"Sounds like a reasonable course of action," Galaxoid agreed.

"And those are rare around here, so we might as well take it," added Andy.

The conversation was rudely interrupted by an otherworldly monstrous shriek that seemed to be on loan from hell, coming from the island. There was an explosion that shook that area for a mile around, causing them to stumble. From the middle, it seemed something was growing, tall and smoldering.

"Holy cow! Is that a _volcano_?!" Socrates cried.

"If he keeps adding dangerous stuff to it, Retro's not gonna have much room left for himself," remarked Andy.

"Guessing his plans are falling apart," said Sherman. "If he's creating stuff that's dangerous to _him_ as well, I can't imagine he's doing too well."

"Not to mention him being nuttier than a fruitcake," Socrates added.

One of the large sea serpents in the water came up over the surface to look up at the island's new addition. Then, it turned and saw the group standing on the pier. It seemed to regard them with confusion before narrowing its eyes and growling.

"So…," Socrates said slowly, "… it can't… get us, right? I mean, what with it being sworn to swim close to the island, right?"

"In theory," Nebular agreed.

Suddenly, the serpent threw its head back before unleashing a cascade of flame right in their direction. Letting out a chorus of undignified yelps, the quintet on the dockside scattered for shelter behind the cars in the parking lot. The flames messily devoured the wooden dock and scorched about three feet of the pavement before it finally dissipated.

Everyone poked their heads out from behind an SUV and watched as the creature dove back into the water.

"Of course, they might find _other_ ways of hurting us," Nebular added sheepishly.

"So yeah, if we're going to get them off the island, we need to do it a tad discreetly," Galaxoid said, still shaking nervously.

* * *

Calvin dug himself out of some darkly-colored brush he'd fallen into. The ground shaking like that had thrown him aside some distance. He shook the leaves out of his hair and looked around for anyone else in his group.

"Mom? Dad?!" he shouted.

"Over here, Calvin!"

He turned in the direction of his mother's voice. He saw she was getting to her feet after being similarly knocked down by the volcano's arrival.

"What in the world _was_ that?" she demanded.

"Retro's still making alterations to the landscape," Calvin explained. "He's using the Imaginator to rewrite reality to whatever he can think of."

"How? How can _any_ of this be possible?"

"I've never gotten a firm grasp on the science behind it, but the machine reads his mind, and whatever he thinks of, it creates. Kinda like a 3D printer, but, you know… dangerous. And that's why we've got to find him and stop him. That kind of technology in the wrong hands could destroy the world, even if he didn't want to."

Mom gazed up at the volcano is dazed wonderment. "So… who is he, anyway?"

"Some scientist who tried to take over the world a few Christmases ago. I think it… I dunno… '96? '97? But Hobbes and I put a stop it."

"What? Calvin, that was at least twenty years ago! How can you have…? I mean, how is it possible…?"

Calvin watched quietly as his mother tried to wrap her head around the idea being presented to her. He briefly wondered if maybe it was time to he explained the floating timeline, but given the present situation, they were already wasting time just having this conversation. He gently took her by the hand and looked into her eyes.

"Mom? We need to find Dad and Hobbes. Okay?"

Mom blinked heavily before the implications of his words sank in. "Oh, right…" She turned and looked into the jungle. "Dear? Hobbes? Where are you?"

They heard a distant voice call to them. "Over here!"

Recognizing her husband's voice, she grabbed Calvin by the hand, and they ran into the jungle towards it.

When they arrived, they found that in the volcano's arrival, several cracks in the ground had been created. One in particular was pretty deep, but not so deep that they couldn't hear Dad's voice coming from it.

"I'm down here!" he shouted.

They hurried to the edge and saw that Dad had fallen down the hole.

"Are you okay?" Mom asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine. The ground I was standing on just sank suddenly. But I can't climb out."

"And he's a bit far for us to reach," Calvin added, clearly trying to think of a solution.

They heard footsteps behind them, and they all turned to see Hobbes walking up with a length of vine wrapped around his shoulder. "Don't worry," he said, holding out one end. "Already on it."

He handed one end of the vine to Calvin and his mom, and then tossed the rest down to Calvin's dad. It was just long enough that he could grab onto it and start pulling himself up. Hobbes helped by pulling on the other end, showing considerable strength to haul Dad back up onto level ground. It took a while, at last, the father unit was back where they were.

"Oh, thank goodness," Mom said, pulling her husband into a hug. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I think so," Dad said, returning it.

He peered down at Hobbes, who was currently discarding the vine.

"Um… thanks… _Hobbes_ ," he said, feeling surprised he was thanking his son's stuffed animal for rescuing him.

"Don't mention it," Hobbes replied modestly. "Just means more seafood for me when we get home."

The ground chose that moment to start shaking again, and they all grasped each other so as not to become separated again.

Calvin pulled the MTM out of his pocket. "Okay, MTM, can you get a fix?"

"Yep," the CD player replied. "He's just a few hundred meters ahead. Seems to have stopped moving at last."

"Must've wore himself out lugging the Imagaintor everywhere," Hobbes said. "You know, with technology developing the way it is, you'd think he'd have made one that can fit in his pocket…"

"I know, right?" Calvin agreed. "I mean, most of _my_ inventions are pocket-sized these days."

"Cheers, mate," MTM said. "Okay – straight ahead."

Calvin and Hobbes set off ahead, all set for whatever came next.

Mom and Dad hung back a bit, both of them still bewildered.

"… So… a stuffed animal saved me," Dad murmured.

"Yeah," Mom said. "Seems so."

"I mean, what does this mean? Calvin doesn't seem even remotely surprised. Does this mean he was alive the whole time?"

"I don't know. Maybe Calvin just thought he was. Or maybe everything happening to him is true, and we just didn't see it because we couldn't accept it."

"You think?"

"Well, there's a theory that sometimes, if we see something totally and utterly out of place, our brains just block it out because they can't process it."

They heard a loud growl coming from the jungle that made them move faster.

"Of course," Mom continued, "being in this place, where _everything_ totally and utterly out of place is all in _one place_ , it's kind of hard to ignore."

They hurried after Calvin, figuring he was the one who knew what he was doing. It was a very disorienting thing for a parent, to be looking to their own child for guidance. But he was using the MTM's lasers to cut his way through the brush like they were tissue paper, brimming with confidence and certainty. So maybe letting him be in charge was for the best.

The further through the brush they got, they could hear another voice. An angry frustrated voice that was hurling unbridled fury into the air. They knew they were getting closer.

At last, they'd forced their way through to a clearing. There, smack bang in the middle of it, was Retro with the Imaginator. It was his voice hurling anger, and it was aimed at the machine, which was a little worse for wear. He'd been kicking it quite a bit, clearly. He was so involved in making it work that he didn't seem to register that they'd arrived.

In fact, they'd all approached and were standing over him by the time he looked up and saw him. He leaped back like a feral animal, startled. "Hey!" he shouted. "Stay away from me! I can use this thing to kill you all!"

"What are you doing?" Calvin demanded.

"I'll tell you what I'm doing. I'm _trying_ to make this thing work right!"

"Seems to be working all right to me," Hobbes said, observing the chaos surrounding them.

"No! _You_ shut up! You're not real!"

Calvin blinked. "Man, you've _really_ lost the plot. What are you trying to accomplish with all this?"

"I designed this new Imaginator with a new setting – to revert imagined objects back into their true form. And _that_ is what I want. Hobbes is clearly an imagined object. Anyone can see it. But _you_ were the only one who can't see that. _That_ was to be my revenge. I want you to see him as the rest of us once did – as a stupid, dumb, brainless, ineffectual _toy_!"

Mom and Dad stared at him in shock, stunned that someone would go to so much effort to just try and hurt their son. Not just physically but emotionally. They both put their hands on Calvin's shoulders to try and pull him away from the raving lunatic in a lab coat.

Calvin, however, stood his ground. "Okay…," he said slowly. "I think you need to listen very carefully, Retro. Hobbes has _always_ been in his true form. Not a toy. Not ever. My entire life, he's been as he is. And if you had trouble seeing that, that's your problem."

Dad cleared his throat. "Maybe your mind just couldn't accept that he was real," he suggested.

Retro stared at him, startled. "Excuse me?"

"Well, I mean… maybe the reality of a walking talking tiger was too much for you, so your brain… just… I don't know… _made_ him a toy to you. You couldn't accept the truth, so you made up a lie to force it to make sense."

Mom put a hand on his shoulder as they began to accept that maybe this was true of them as well.

"Interesting theory," Hobbes remarked, finally speaking up. "I mean, after all, some might think I _am_ too good to be true."

Calvin rolled his eyes. "Oh, don't start on that now…"

"No…," Retro growled. "No, no, _no_! I saw what I saw! I know you were a stuffed animal when we first met! And I'll make you one again!" He grabbed the helmet on the Imaginator and began pressing buttons.

Before anyone could do anything, however, there was a beam of light coming down from the sky above, catching them all in a spotlight. They all yelped in surprise.

"Oh god, what _now_?!" Dad wailed.

"What's happening?" Mom demanded. "What's he done?"

"I don't think that was him," Hobbes said with a growing smile.

"Nope," Calvin agreed. "I think our friends have come for us."

"No, no, no!" Retro cried. "Not _them_ again! No! I'm not going back! You can't make me!"

He tried to run, but he found himself running in mid-air as they were all slowly lifted off the ground, and then the light enveloped them completely.


	9. Temporal Stopping Point

Mom and Dad both held onto each other as the world blinded them for a few seconds. They felt the strange sensation of each and every one of their particles being disassembled, sent on some sort of fantastical journey, and then reassembled bit by bit until they felt whole again. They sagged into each other as the light around them faded, and their eyesight was restored.

First, they were relieved to find that Calvin and Hobbes were still with them, also adjusting to their new surroundings. Second, they were disappointed to find that Retro and his horrible device had been transported, too. Third, they had no flippin' clue just where the heck they were.

They were standing on a raised platform in the middle of a sleek silver room made with what looked like steel panels painted in a fluorescent white.

"Where are we?" Mom managed ask at last.

"We're on a spaceship," Calvin said calmly.

"A _spaceship_?!" Dad cried. "Why'd he create a spaceship?"

"He didn't," Hobbes replied. "It belongs to our friends, Galaxoid and Nebular."

Retro, however, was looking around frantically like a caged animal. He looked up and down until he realized there were a few hatchway that led to other parts of the ship. Acting quickly, he snatched up the Imaginator and made a dash for one of them.

"I'm not going back!" he shouted. "They won't put me back in that cell! Not without a fight!"

He was out through the hatch in an instant, despite lugging the heavy machine with him.

"Cell? What's he talking about?" Dad asked.

"Last time he tried to take over the world, we didn't know what to do with him," Calvin admitted sheepishly. "Didn't think he could just be taken to the police, so we let Galaxoid and Nebular take care of him."

"In hindsight, not our greatest decision," Hobbes admitted.

"Thinking we'd better chase after him," MTM suggested. "Before something happens to him."

Nodding in agreement, Calvin and Hobbes bolted from the teleport room while his parents followed behind.

"I can't believe you just left a human being in the hands of aliens," Mom said, unable to help being stern with her son. "I mean, I understand if you were backed into a corner, but really…"

"Give me a break!" Calvin snapped. "I didn't think it through! It was my first time saving the world!"

"Yeah, this whole thing has really been a learning curve," Hobbes agreed.

They rounded a corner, hoping to spot the madman with his machine, but instead, they came face to face with Andy, Sherman and Socrates, who came skidding around another corner.

"Hey!" Andy said delightedly. " _There_ you guys are!"

"Timely work with the teleporter, boys," Calvin commended, shaking Andy's hand.

Mom and Dad blinked slowly at Socrates, absolutely stupefied.

"Wait… there's _another_ Hobbes?" Dad asked, looking extremely lost.

Socrates blinked. "Beg pardon?"

"No, that's Socrates," Calvin said. "I told you about him. Belongs to that rich kid Elliot in the mansion down the road? Also playing cruel and vicious pranks on the unwitting populace with yours truly as his main victim?"

"Oh, _you_ ," Socrates said, waving away the supposed praise.

"So… are there _several_ talking tigers?" Mom asked in confusion.

Hobbes shrugged. "You can find talking animals everywhere if you pay attention. I remember when Calvin was in scouts, there were these raccoons I used to play poker with. Little varmints kept cheating me…"

"So you've _always_ had a dislike for the rodent family," Sherman remarked down his raised itty-bitty nose.

" _A-a-a-a-a-a-and_ the hamster is talking," Dad said, rubbing his eyes behind his glasses.

Now it was Sherman's turn to blink. "Er, yeah," he said. "Been doing that for some time. Didn't you notice?"

"Apparently not," Mom sighed.

"And what are _you_ , Andy? Are you an action figure sprung to life?" Dad asked.

Andy looked really weirded out by the question. "Er… no. At least, I don't think so…"

"So you're the ordinary boy we've seen around the house playing with Calvin all this time?"

"Yeah…?"

"… Okay, so you've been aware of Hobbes, Socrates and Sherman all this time?"

"Uh-huh… I mean, I _live_ with Sherman, so it's kinda hard to ignore him."

"No matter how tempting that may be sometimes," Socrates added, "given all the lab experiments we've been dragged into."

"Hey, the plutonium-powered roller-skates only caused _mild_ hair loss. And it grew back!" Sherman protested.

"You know, with all this chitchat, Retro's still getting away," Calvin pointed out urgently. "For all we know, he's trying to find the flight deck so he can take control of the ship."

"And with the Imaginator, he could do it," Hobbes pointed out.

"Then there's not a moment to lose," Socrates said. "Come on, troops! After him!"

Calvin, Hobbes and Socrates tore up the corridor.

Andy, however, remained with Calvin's parents and handed them Sherman. "Okay, Shermie, why don't you keep an eye on Calvin's folks here while we defeat an evil lunatic?"

"Do I have a choice?" Sherman grumbled.

"Well, it's either this, or you try to hold a weapon with your widdle paws."

"Oh, just go."

Andy tussled his fur briefly before running off to join the others.

Calvin's parents peered down at Sherman awkwardly. He smiled pleasantly. "So! How about we go join Galaxoid and Nebular in the main control room so we can assist from there?"

Dad looked at the tiny talking rodent in numb acceptance. "Yeah, sure. Why not? We'll just… go help… those guys… and then… we'll just…"

Mom put an arm around his shoulders and guided him down the hall. "Which way is it, Sherman?"

"That way," he said, pointing them in the right direction.

"Of course, it is," Dad murmured. "It's that way… and then we'll talk to the aliens… and we'll set about… _helping_ them… help our son… and the tiger… and the _other_ tiger… and the hamster… who _all_ talk…"

"Is he okay?" Sherman asked.

"He will be, once he's in his office avoiding the world all day," Mom sighed.

* * *

Retro's heart was pounding as he listened to the metallic clanging of his feet hitting the floor. He sprinted as fast as he could, trying not to let the weight of the Imaginator totally ruin his dramatic exit. His mind was racing with absolute fury. How could his plans have backfired so badly? He knew what Hobbes was. He was a blasted toy. He _had_ to be. Reality had to have been altered by Calvin's use of his device. Had to be. _Had_ to be.

His thoughts were unexpectedly interrupted by a hatchway door suddenly slamming shut in front of him. He barely had time to register what had happened before he collided with it, hurting his nose and falling flat on his back afterwards. He looked up at it in complete loathing, trying to figure out if there was a way around or through it.

Then he heard the crackle of feedback before a familiar voice reverberated around him.

It was Galaxoid. " _All right, Retro. We've tracked you down and can see you on the monitor. We control all the doors, meaning we control where you try to run. So we're ready for you whenever you're ready to give up._ "

Retro couldn't tell where the voice was coming from, so he just scowled into the middle distance before grabbing the Imaginator once again and lugging back the way he came. He found another open hatchway and ducked through it. He cut through a control room and out the opposite side into an open corridor. He started to turn left and run that way, but another door slammed shut in his path, forcing him to U-turn and go the other way.

* * *

In the control room, Galaxoid and Nebular were observing this on the security monitors. They were laid back in their chairs and sipping drinks as the evil little human darted about.

"Fascinating, what some species will do when their lives are endangered," Galaxoid murmured.

"Yeah," said Nebular. "It truly is a marvel to behold when someone decides their life is worth something… I need a refill."

The door hissed open behind them, and they looked back to see Calvin's parents entering, still carrying Sherman.

"Ah, so you're Calvin's parents," Galaxoid said cheerfully. "Welcome aboard."

"Please, make yourself at home," Nebular added. "Help yourself to some refreshments. And possibly fetch me a refill as you do so." Galaxoid swatted him.

"Er, we're fine, thanks," Dad said. "Way too deep in shock to stomach food right now."

"So… what's going on in here?" Mom asked.

"We're helping Calvin and his friends capture Retro. We're opening and closing all the ship's internal doors so that he can be apprehended," Galaxoid explained.

"How far is he from the target?" Sherman asked.

"Should be just a few more minutes," Nebular said. Then he leaned closer to the screen. "Oooh, look at that. He's headed for the hangar. Watch this."

He reached forward and pressed a button.

On the screen, they watched as a door suddenly slammed shut, and Retro collided with it, once again falling flat on his back. The two aliens guffawed loudly.

Mom and Dad looked at each other worriedly.

"Meh. Alien values," Sherman sighed.

"So where's Calvin?" Mom asked.

"Huh? Oh, right, hang on," Galaxoid said, leaning forward and typing some commands.

The screen in the middle flickered, and Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Socrates appeared on it, looking around. Calvin was holding out the MTM like a detector.

"They're hot on his scent," Nebular confirmed.

Sherman patted Mom's hand with his tiny paws. "Don't worry. They have been killed yet." Then he reconsidered. "Well, okay, some of us were killed once, but time travel brought us back. So apart from that _one time_ …"

Mom just stared at him in mounting horror.

* * *

Retro was still hoofing it up and down the corridors. Every time a door slammed shut, he found another one to run to. As he was running, however, he began to notice that while several doors were still closing, there were always a few that were kept open. He began to wonder, what was that all about?

At last, he made a connection, and he skidded to a halt just before a door that hadn't closed, and notably _still_ wasn't closing. He set down the Imaginator and crossed his arms like a petulant child.

"Nope. Not anymore," he said. "I see your little game. With all these doors, you're trying to drive me to a certain part of the ship. Well, I refuse to be treated like a lab rat in a maze. I will not be going _anywhere_ , save your flight deck, where I intend to take over this ship. And I'll kill anyone who tries to apprehend me. Are we clear?"

There was a long silence. He stood, waiting for one of the aliens to talk to him over the P/A system.

"I said, _are we clear_?"

"Crystal."

Retro turned around to see Calvin standing in the open hatchway, holding the MTM out in front of him. Hobbes, Andy and Socrates were running up as well.

"Ah," he murmured. "So you've brought your little friends with you as well…"

"Yes, and we're here to do that whole 'apprehending' thing you were talking about. So if you'll just _not_ do the 'kill anyone who tries' part, we'll be on our way."

Retro responded by snatching up the helmet on the Imaginator and holding onto it. "Well, let's just see about that, shall we?"

"Do you think you can really dream up something that can stop us before MTM fires a laser?" Andy asked pointedly.

"Perhaps… but do you really think your cute piece of tech can defeat pure imaginative power?"

They all looked at Calvin, who hadn't broken his steady gaze. He continued to stare Retro down, which told them all what they suspected.

He had no idea.

* * *

Mom, Dad and Sherman were observing the standoff via the monitors.

"Okay, so now what happens…?" Dad asked slowly.

Sherman felt his mind blank out, something that rarely happened. "Er… I… don't know."

"You mean, this isn't part of the plan?" Mom cried.

"Not that I know of…"

Dad turned his attention to Galaxoid and Nebular. "Can't either of you _do_ something?"

The two aliens looked at each other. "Well… nothing that wouldn't harm the others as well," Galaxoid said awkwardly. "They're all really close together."

"Yeah, if we, for instance, drained the corridor of oxygen, Calvin and the others would suffocate, too," explained Nebular.

"Well, we can't just sit here and do _nothing_!" Dad snapped. "We have to save him _somehow_!"

Then, his mind flashed back to about a half hour earlier when all this mayhem unfolded, and he remembered when Calvin had been passing out his random assortment of toys and objects. He felt around in his pocket, and he found the yellow top spinner with the red button. He looked at it, and then at his wife, who was also eyeing it.

"Er… Calvin said this was a… time pauser?"

Sherman saw it, and his eyes doubled in size. "You've got the Time Pauser?!"

"Yes. Is that good?"

"Quick! Press the red button! Grab your wife's hand and press the button!"

Quickly, Mom and Dad took hands, and Dad pressed the red button.

 _ **BOOM!**_

A large shockwave expanded out around them as everything slowed to an absolute standstill. Galaxoid and Nebular, the images on the monitor, the entire universe, everything just _stopped_.

Mom and Dad let go of each other's hands and looked around.

They glanced at Sherman, who grinned at them. "Nifty, huh?"

"How… how…?" Dad stuttered, looking around the frozen room in amazement.

"Well, the Time Pauser basically puts us in a single moment in time. It's like a little pocket dimension hidden away in this very millisecond where time itself does not exist. That's why we need to hold onto each other when we restart time, otherwise one or more of us will be left behind and trapped in this single moment forever. Calvin made a bunch of Time Discs that were supposed to be linked with the Time Pauser, but I'm guessing he left them at home…"

Dad cleared his throat. "No, I mean… how did my son… my _seven-year-old_ son… create a gadget that _stops time_ … out of a top spinner he got from _Burger King_?"

Sherman blinked. "Oh… er… well, he's never really gone into the specifics…"

Mom snapped out of her daze at last. "Wait… dear? Frozen time or not, time is of the essence. We still need to save Calvin."

"Right… Well, at least now we have time to figure out a plan to do that."

"Well, let's get down there and see what we can do," Sherman suggested.

Uncertain, they walked down the maze of corridors towards the action. It was a long walk, as they weren't sure which the right way was. But they figured they had 'time' to figure it out.

"What are we breathing?" Mom asked.

Sherman looked up. "I'm sorry?"

"If everything is frozen, that means the air particles are frozen, too. So how are we breathing? Or even _moving_ for that matter?"

The hamster shrugged. "Presumably, Calvin made it so the air molecules _aren't_ frozen. Although, he _did_ mention once that we don't age while we're in time stop, so maybe it's more a case of us not _needing_ to breathe… Gosh, so many questions… I'll have to ask him."

After what felt like ten minutes, they finally tracked down the group, all of whom were frozen in their Mexican standoff. Retro grasping the Imaginator while Calvin aimed the MTM.

Sherman surveyed the situation. "Hmmmm… Seems to me they've both got their hands on the trigger. We're going to need to tip the balance in Calvin's favor a bit."

"Right… How do we do that?" asked Dad.

Sherman pondered. "Did Calvin give you guys anything else?"

Mom remembered something and reached into her back pocket. "He gave me this clothespin," she said. "Something 'atomic'?"

"The Atomic Freezer! You clamp that onto something and stand back. Depending on what you want, it will either cool the temperature slightly or incase it in a block of ice."

Mom looked at the 'device' in her hand for a thoughtful moment. Then she noticed that the tail end of Retro's lab coat was hanging out where a clothespin could feasibly latch onto it. Feeling a rush of deviousness, she knelt down and attached it.

Even in time stop, the Atomic Freezer went to work. Within a few non-seconds, the lab coat, still on Retro's body, was incased in a coat-shaped block of ice.

Content with her day's work, she took her husband's hand, who took the Time Pauser and pressed the button.

 _ **BOOM!**_

Time abruptly started up again. Everyone began moving.

Retro immediately felt the effects of using a block of ice as a fashion garment. Not only did he become unbearably cold, but he fell over backwards as well from the extra weight.

Seeing his chance, Calvin fired a laser blast at the Imaginator's helmet, blasting it out of Retro's hand. Realizing, Mom and Dad quickly grabbed the device away from him and dragged it over to the others.

"Okay, Retro, you can either come quietly, or we drag you kicking and screaming," Calvin said firmly. "What's it going to be?"

But Retro didn't seem to hear him. He was too busy trying to get the frozen lab coat off. He couldn't even move his arms. As he struggled to run up the corridor, he proceeded to hurl himself against the wall, trying to smash it off, sending bits of broken ice scattering across the floor. He smashed his arms against it, trying hard to free himself, until finally, he'd created enough wiggle room that he could wriggle his way out of the coat and abandon it on the floor.

"Solid work, if I don't say so myself," Hobbes said, patting Calvin's mom on the back.

"Are you kids all right?" Dad asked, checking his son over.

"Yeah, we're fine," Calvin assured him. "But we need to get after Retro fast. Where're Galaxoid and Nebular directing him?"

"The one place in the ship that can help him now," Andy replied.

* * *

Retro was desperately trying to get some heat back into his body as he pelted up the corridor. He clapped his arms around his body, trying to get the blood flowing as he also dodged shutting doors. He was weaponless, having lost the Imaginator, and he didn't think the boy would be all that forgiving, nor would his parents, or the other kid, or the two carnivores traveling with him. Heck, even the hamster looked like he'd be up for kicking his backside.

A few more doors slammed shut, and he ducked down one more corridor. This one, however, appeared to be a dead end. He was about to double back when the door he'd gone through sealed itself shut. He looked the entire place up and down, trying to find some kind of escape route, but there wasn't even a ventilation shaft for him to crawl through. Completely airtight.

"All right…," he said, knowing they could hear him. "What's the plan? Suffocate me? Come on, let's get it over with."

Galaxoid's voice was heard over the intercom again. " _At the end of the corridor, there's an escape pod. We'd appreciate it if you sat down in it._ "

There was a hydraulic whirring at the end of the hall, followed by the hissing of steam. Retro turned to look and saw a hatchway opening up into a small one-man escape pod. He raised an eyebrow and walked towards it.

"And… what precisely do I do when I'm inside?" he ventured carefully.

" _You didn't want to go back to your cell_ ," Nebular's voice explained. " _So we're not taking you back to Annkor._ "

Galaxoid continued. " _Our government has decided that you're too big of a risk to keep anymore. We're under instructions to transport you to a maximum security planet. You'll be locked away in a cell surrounded by fully-trained armed guards for the remainder of your days._ "

" _With no hope for parole, phone calls or private indoor plumbing_ ," Nebular added.

Retro stared into the pod with mounting horror. He tried to turn and walk away from it, but there was nowhere to go. He was trapped no matter what he did.

Then, there was a crackle of energy, and Calvin and Hobbes teleported into the room, holding the MTM. They stared back at him from the opposite end.

Retro felt the rage building inside him. "You… you're prepared to condemn me to a life in prison?"

Calvin raised an eyebrow while Hobbes crossed his arms. Yes, they were.

"Then you sentence me to death," he continued.

"We all die someday," Calvin replied flatly.

"There's no chance for you, Retro," Hobbes added. "You have no interest in redemption. You never did. Only interest in power, no matter how you get it. And the world doesn't need more megalomaniac dictators."

"So we're sending you away, and we plan to never see you again. So hop aboard the one-way express to prison, or we'll _force_ you in."

For emphasis, he held up the MTM, which crackled with electricity threateningly.

Realizing he was well and truly trapped, Retro glared at them before slowly turning and making the trek to the pod. He crouched down and sat himself in the leather seat, taking in his surroundings. He saw several controls laid out before him, and his first instinct was to try and fiddle with all of them until he found one that gave him control.

Of course, none of them worked.

Galaxoid's voice came over the intercom again. " _Just FYI, the controls are inactive while the craft is stationary, and we've also installed a stasis seal within the pod, meaning that you will be suspended in time until you arrive at your destination._ "

" _We've programmed the pod to take you directly to the prison planet_ ," Nebular added helpfully. " _Please refrain from the use of flash photography. Please remain seated while the pod is in motion. Thank you for flying with us today, and we hope to never see you again at any point in time._ "

The pod doors hissed shut, but Retro could still see Calvin and Hobbes watching him through the window. He threw them one last savage glare, and that was the expression he became stuck with as the stasis field kicked in around him. His frozen furious eyes continued to watch them as the pod disengaged from the rest of the ship and took off into the darkest reaches of space.

Calvin and Hobbes watched the pod depart.

"So…," Hobbes said quietly. "Think he'll be back?"

"Knowing the universe we live in? Probably," Calvin sighed.

The door hissed open behind them, and they departed to rejoin their friends.


	10. Send Off

Calvin eyed his parents warily as they started wrapping up business. After they'd helped dispose of Retro, he was checking for signs of any sort of nervous breakdown. They'd been exposed to a lot in the last few hours. Hard to believe they'd gotten all this done is such a short span of time.

Thankfully, the shock had apparently worn off, and now curiosity was overriding their brains, which may or may not have been preferable to babbling panic. They were examining the spaceship's features and pestering his friends with all sorts of questions.

"So, can you really see in the dark?" Dad asked Hobbes.

"Yes, with a flashlight," Hobbes replied, looking a trifle annoyed.

"And if you're a talking hamster, do you have a vocal chords?" Mom asked.

Sherman rolled his eyes. "What do _you_ think?"

"And you've got thumbs," Dad said to Socrates. "How does that work?"

"Fairly well, thank you," he replied, giving Dad a thumbs-up.

"Andy, what do _you_ do in the group?" Mom asked.

"I see myself as kind of a camp counselor for these guys," Andy replied swiftly, earning some annoyed glares from the others.

Dad held up the time pauser to Calvin. "How on earth did you create a device that freezes time out of a _plastic top spinner_?"

Calvin raised an eyebrow. "Very carefully."

Mom took the MTM from her son's hand. "What does 'MTM' stand for?"

"Mini-Time Machine," the CD player replied.

"Oh… so you just travel in time?"

"No, I can do pretty much anything."

"So… isn't your name kind of non-indicative? I mean, wouldn't something else like 'Multi-Task Machine' be more fitting?"

MTM pondered. "Yeah, Calvin, why _don't_ we rename me something more appropriate?"

"Do we have to go into this _now_?" Calvin demanded.

"Wait a minute," Dad said suddenly, eliciting a smattering of annoyed groans. "You were born in 1979, and we only just had your _seventh_ birthday a few weeks ago! How did we not notice that?!"

Mom stared in shock. "But that's… I mean, that can't be… Have we not been aging these last few decades?!"

"Pretty much," Hobbes said with an annoyed nod.

"Yeah, I mean, it's kind of a brain puzzler at first, but you soon get used to it," Socrates added.

"And let me guess – you all took care of it?"

"Just the sort of thing we deal with," said Andy.

"Yep," agreed Sherman. "Untangling temporal paradoxes and stabilizing the plane of reality for your viewing pleasure."

"This is going to take some getting used to," Dad sighed, rubbing his forehead.

Galaxoid and Nebular slithered up to the group. "Okay, we've triple-checked the pod's flight path. He should be there in a few days."

"Good," Calvin said, relieved that they would be going soon. "Thanks for the help, guys. Much appreciated."

"A much-needed distraction from the camping trip," Hobbes agreed.

"Maybe we should make _this_ our family vacation from now on," Mom pondered.

Dad looked at her incredulously. "You're seriously telling me that you'd rather fight off monsters, defeat evildoers and live on a spaceship than go camping?"

"Just putting it out there…"

"Well, this was nice for a day, but I'd much rather get back to camping. If we don't head back soon, we're not going to get enough sleep for fishing in the morning."

Calvin and Hobbes both groaned.

"You _must_ be joking," Calvin complained. "I mean, we're talking about getting up at the crack of dawn just to pull some smelly lungless animals onto dry land and eat them."

"Yeah, and as much as I love a good fish, some of us like to _sleep_ in the early morning," Hobbes added.

Mom smirked. "Well, looks like it's three against one," she teased.

"Oh great. Now my son's tiger is against me," Dad sighed.

"Always kind of have been," Hobbes said with a shrug. "Although, considering you guys _did_ help save our lives and stop Retro, I guess we could _try_ and get through it…"

Calvin glared at him and crossed his arms, trying not to look out he was pouting even though he totally was. "Oh… very well. I guess we can finish the dumb trip."

Dad clasped his hands together triumphantly. "Great! So how do we get back down to the island? Transporter beam like on _Star Trek_?"

Galaxoid and Nebular stared at him incredulously before laughing uproariously.

"Dear sweet naïve human," Nebular said. "Such devices are mere works of fiction. The process we engage in transport you involves taking the exact state of an atom and transmitting it exactly from one location to another, with the help of classical communication and previously shared quantum entanglement between the sending and receiving location."

"Yeah, I mean, come on! This is _reality_!" Galaxoid added.

They continued to laugh again while the others all looked between themselves in bewilderment.

All except Sherman, sending them a knowing glare. "Except that's _basically_ how a transporter beam would work," he pointed out.

Galaxoid and Nebular stopped mid-guffaw, looked around and then sheepishly slithered off towards the controls.

" _Anyway_ ," Calvin said loudly, turning to the others. "Thanks for the alert, boys. We'll see you at the end of the week."

"Okie-dokie," Andy said, shaking his hand.

Socrates heaved over the Imaginator. "Here. Better take this with you. Probably needs to be destroyed or somesuch."

"So you're not going to suggest using it for your own nefarious purposes?" Hobbes asked, lugging it over.

"Oh, my friend… even _I_ don't want me to get a hold of this."

There was something about his serene expression that made them all decide not to question him.

"Wait, something else…," Dad said, looking around the group. "Why are there no girls in your group?"

All five froze where they stood, thrown by the question.

"… Four to transport, Mr. Galaxoid," Calvin said at last.

"Aye-aye," Galaxoid replied, pressing a button on the wall. "Farewell, Earth Potentate."

As Calvin, Hobbes, Mom and Dad were slowly enveloped in the white glow of the teleporter particles, the two adults reacted with shock.

"Wait… 'Earth Potentate'?!" Mom asked.

Calvin smiled innocently as they blipped out of existence.

* * *

The world reformed around them, and Calvin's family staggered as they found their footing.

"Wow," Dad said, steadying himself. "I wonder if I could get something like that for getting to work…"

Hobbes looked around with a growing look of concern. "It occurs to me that we might have forgotten one little detail before we came back here…"

"Our sanity, seeing as how we just agreed to return to our camping trip?" Calvin grumbled.

"No… I mean the fact that this place is still all… y'know… imagine-ified…"

There was a loud roar behind them, making them all jump. They turned and saw several hell beasts were stomping around, growling furiously and salivating unspeakable slobber. There were earthquakes rumbling under the ground, and another rumble from above indicated that the volcano was erupting molten lava straight at them.

"We need to change the island back to normal!" Hobbes cried.

"Well, I mean… we could just _let_ all this stuff keep going, and eventually the island will be destroyed…," Calvin suggested. "Might take care of itself…"

" _Calvin_ …," Dad said warningly.

"Sweetie, I'd like to remind you that we're _on_ the island," Mom said patiently.

"Oh, very well…," Calvin sighed, walking calmly over towards the Imaginator that sat a few feet away. "MTM – can you help me find the undo button on this thing?"

"Give us a mo. I'll see if I can find it," MTM replied.

While Calvin focused on the Imaginator, everyone else all stared up at the lava rushing down at them from the volcano. Mom and Dad held onto each other, and Hobbes grasped them around the waists fearfully. Much to her own surprise, Mom started patting his head soothingly.

The lava was getting closer and closer, but Calvin was very intent on finding the right button. "Anything yet?" he asked.

"Just about found it. This isn't exactly familiar tech, you know."

"Right, right, in your own time."

The shaking was getting worse, and the others weren't really liking their chances.

"Oop! Found it!" MTM announced. "It's that gray button on the upper-left hand corner."

"Oh, good."

Calvin pressed the button.

The lava was almost upon them, and just as it was somehow turning into a tidal wave to wipe them from the face of the earth, there was a blinding white flash that exploded out from the Imaginator.

The island proceeded to warp and distort, with all the various creatures disappearing into nothing. The trees reshaped into their natural species, the various structures began to recede into the ground, the volcano shrunk down into a pebble, and the jungle turned back into a regular forest.

The process seemed to cause a sort of ripple across reality, and the group were forced to the ground by the force. All were laid out flat on the backs as everything reverted to normalcy once again.

When Calvin came to, he found himself looking up at the night sky with several tall oaks towering over him. He rubbed his sore noggin, taking in the sight of the forest, as well as the Imaginator sitting calmly in the dirt. He took a moment to glare at it, but that only made his headache worse, so he tried relaxing a bit.

Rolling over, he saw Hobbes still looking perfectly normal. His feline friend was sitting upright, going into the usual series of cat stretches that made him look like a seal. He cricked his neck, licked down some of his fur, and then noticed his friend.

"Something tells me college won't be unlike this experience," he remarked.

"Shhh, not in front of Mom and Dad," Calvin grumbled. "I'm not ready to discuss higher education with them."

Hobbes looked over at the two parents in question. "Something tells me neither are they."

Calvin followed his gaze and saw that his parents were sprawled in the dirt, unconscious. Still breathing, but knocked out cold.

"Lightweights," he muttered. "I don't really feel like dragging them the whole way back to camp. You?"

"Not an activity I'd care to engage in, no."

"Good. MTM? Can you teleport us all back to our respective tents? Maybe give them their pajamas as well?"

"Might as well," MTM replied. "Falling asleep in your regular clothes is just downright uncivilized."

There was a flash of electricity, and Calvin's family disappeared into thin air.

The night passed peacefully. No more escapades were to be had. It was a time of snooze.

* * *

Morning came, bringing warmth and salty air that roused Calvin awake. He sat up, did a few stretches, snuck in a few yawns, and popped a crick in his back from sleeping on rocks all night. He sniffed the air, almost gagging at the smoky aroma. Clearly, breakfast was on, and it was fish.

He gave Hobbes a few gentle shoves to make him wake up. The tiger growled slightly and gave the air a mighty swipe with his claws before making himself open his eyes.

"What's…? What's the deal…?" he muttered.

"Come on, Hobbes. Time for breakfast."

Hobbes sniffed the air. "Smells like… fish?"

"Guess Dad got lucky. Goodness knows what kind of shape that fish was in if it got caught on _his_ hook."

Calvin crawled out of the tent and undid the zipper. He peered outside to see Dad frantically trying to stop his breakfast from being on fire while Mom watched with a bored expression. Nothing out of the ordinary there. He couldn't help but notice how routine it all looked. They weren't discussing what had happened the night before. They weren't doing _anything_ out of the ordinary.

"You don't think…?"

Hobbes looked up. "Think what?"

"… That maybe when we undid everything the Imaginator did, it deleted their memories of it happening, do you?"

"Oh… well… that'd be… downright convenient, wouldn't it?"

"Not to mention kind of annoying. I mean, they _finally_ notice what's going on around them, and suddenly, they've forgotten? I didn't even get to use my heroic status to make dinner more dessert-oriented."

"Even though they'd have never gone for that in the first place…"

Calvin watched his parents a little longer. Dad had gotten his fish put out and ready to serve. Mom had produced two bottles of ketchup and mustard to disguise the burnt-to-a-crisp flavor.

"Well…," he sighed, "I guess it's just as well. Means we can go back to normal."

"Yeah… normal…," Hobbes agreed. "Our very loose definition of 'normal', at any rate."

Calvin sighed, eyeing the Imaginator that sat neatly in the back of the tent. It had arrived at the campsite with them last night, so they had to decide what to do with it. "MTM – what did we do with the rest of the Imaginator's equipment?"

"Oh, I made a right job of that," MTM replied. "Used a concentrated time vortex to rewind all the equipment back into the basic components, and then rewound those so there was nothing left of them. It essentially never existed."

"Except for this travel version," Hobbes noted.

"Well, you said to hang onto it."

"Right," Calvin nodded. "Need to figure out what to do with it. Figured we'd store it in the hypercube for now. Maybe Sherman can find a use for it."

"Are we going to give that hamster the power to bend reality to his will whenever he wants?" Hobbes asked, looking more annoyed than worried.

"Come on, Hobbes. You don't trust him with it?"

"I trust him to not suddenly take over the world with it. I _don't_ trust him to not use it to mess with me. It'll be his revenge for all those arguments he lost."

" _He_ lost?"

"… Okay, so there were only five of them. But he's probably holding a very big grudge."

Calvin rolled his eyes and peered out one last time. His parents were now sitting down to breakfast, both of them looking extremely grossed out.

"Guess we might as well join them," he sighed sadly. "Come on, Hobbes. Let's have fish flambé."

"Nummy-num-num."

They emerged from tent and walked across the rocks and dirt to the campfire.

"Well, well, well! Look who's finally up!" Dad said brightly. "You've already missed the best part of the day! I've been up for hours, getting lots of things done!"

Calvin raised an eyebrow at him. "That's great, Dad. You're the winner. What's for breakfast?"

Mom held out her plate of ketchup-and-mustard doused fish. "Looks appetizing, doesn't it?"

"Yeah… I'm just going to have granola, thank you."

"Oh, come on!" Dad objected. "I worked really hard for that fish!"

"Fish is just gross, Dad. Seafood in general is just gross." He turned to his stuffed tiger, looking annoyed suddenly. "Well, yeah, _you_ would enjoy raw fish. Your taste buds are wired differently." He looked back at his parents. "Can you believe this guy?"

Mom and Dad rolled their eyes. "I think we'd better make that new appointment with the psychiatrist when we get back…," Dad muttered.

Calvin's heart dropped. They really didn't remember.

Doing his best to shrug it off, he continued the conversation. "Yeah, if he's still there afterwards, sure," he remarked.

Mom looked up. "What's _that_ supposed to mean?"

"Hey, for all we know, our single encounter was enough to drive him away and abandon his practice. Just saying…"

"… Right…"

"Well, we have lots more to do today, so let's finish breakfast and get to it," Dad announced, rubbing his hands together gleefully.

Calvin rubbed his eyes. He could think of _someone_ who needed professional help. "Dad, why are you so dead set on camping? I mean, what's the deal? Why do you think it's so great?"

"Because it's good for us! It's good to get back to nature and away from civilization!"

Mom rolled her eyes. "And because _his_ dad never took him."

Calvin looked up at his father in surprise. "Wait, really? Grandpa wasn't a nature nut, too?"

Dad looked like all the wind had been taken out of his sails. He actually seemed to sag a little as his poetic speech on the grandeur of nature was flushed down the metaphorical toilet. "Well… I always wanted to camp… but my dad hated it. Said it would 'spoil me'. I don't think he liked going outside all that much. Wanted to stay inside and watch Laurence Welk. He didn't care much for nature. Needed his precious TV…"

Calvin blinked. He could remember all the times his dad had switched the TV off and booted him and Hobbes out of the house because they 'needed the exercise'. Some things were actually starting to make a lot more sense.

"Okay, well, I'm not having fun," he said at last. "I never do on these trips. I think you just force them on me so that we can bond the way you wish you and Grandpa did. But I don't have your passion for nature, if that's what you want to call it. I'm all for playing outside sometimes, but the way you force it on me is just annoying, and it just makes me hate it."

Mom and Dad stared at him. Mom looked a little impressed, while Dad just looked stunned. They'd never heard Calvin make such a composed argument before. It was kind of frightening.

Mom cleared her throat. "Well…," she said, treading carefully, "… maybe what we need is some middle ground. Instead of camping on a desolated rock every year, we can find somewhere else to camp. Maybe in the woods, or by a lake, or even in the backyard."

"Somewhere close to an actual toilet would be great," Calvin added, already warming to the idea.

Dad shuffled awkwardly, crossing his arms like a petulant child. "… Oh, all right," he said grudgingly. "I'll think about it."

"The first step to peace talks," Mom said with a wry smile.

"Good," Calvin said, getting up from his log. "Okay, if we've got that over with, I'm going to have a granola bar and get in some swimming. Be back later."

He retreated to his tent, leaving his stuffed tiger lying against the log.

Mom and Dad went back to their fish.

"So…," Mom said. "What do you think? Start saving for law school?"

Dad chuckled. "He makes a heck of an argument. Still, I'd miss this place if we stopped coming here…"

"Well, you're free to come out here by yourself if you want."

Dad shook his head and leaned back, putting an arm around her.

They sat in silence for a few moments, enjoying the rare nice weather.

Mom's eyes fell on the stuffed tiger sitting across from them. "Oh, I had the weirdest dream last night. There was this crazy guy who trapped us in a cage, and then Calvin had to come save us, and then Hobbes suddenly came to life, and he was walking and talking… Gosh, it was so weird. It was like we were talking to Calvin's idea of what Hobbes is…"

Dad slowly turned and stared at her. "… Was there a volcano?"

Mom blinked in surprise. "Er… yes, there was, actually…"

"And aliens on a spaceship?"

"… Yes…"

"And a talking hamster?"

"And another talking tiger."

"And a top spinner that froze time."

"And a clothespin that turned things to ice."

"Oh my god…"

"You had the dream, too?!"

"Yes! It was so weird! I mean, it was like…"

"… Everything Calvin has been telling us was true…?"

"Yeah… But… it can't be, can it? I mean, that's ridiculous!"

"Right… ridiculous…"

They stared at each other for a long time, and then slowly turned their heads to the stuffed tiger on the log. It had somehow tipped over onto its side, almost like it was taking a nap. They stared at it for a long time, waiting to see if it did anything else.

"… Where did we get Hobbes again?" Dad asked uncertainly.

* * *

In the farthest reaches of space, the escape pod chugged ever onwards, heading for the prison planet, whereupon it would deposit its passenger. Retro's frozen expression could be seen through the window – angry, determined, and thirsty for revenge.

It continued to putter along before it suddenly began to veer off to the side. You wouldn't think it was possible to make a hard right in space, but there it was. It just swerved off course and set off in a new direction.

How and why this happened would be revealed later. For now, only one thing was known.

Retro's pod was no longer enroute to the prison planet that would have locked him away and spared him a much more horrible fate.

A certain red planet hung in the distance like a beacon. Ominous, threatening, unnerving…

The pod headed for the planet.

The final game pieces were being put into place.

The last battle was to begin.


	11. Synonym for Epilogue

Mom slowly squeezed her eyes open and blinked a few times. She was laying in her bed in the darkness surrounding her and Dad's bedroom. She rolled over and threw a glance at her husband, who was completely knocked out and snoring, with his back to her.

She rolled over again, until she became aware of what had brought her out of her sleep. The unmistakable sound of the television playing in the living room downstairs. She groaned and rubbed her temple, sinking her head into her pillow. She threw a glance at her bedside clock, which read "4:23 AM".

"Dang it, Calvin…," she yawned quietly, slowly sitting up and removing the covers from her person. She searched the floor for her slippers, before finally finding them, and shuffling towards her bedroom door.

She walked down the stairs, where she saw the light of the TV shining brightly from the living room. She approached the living room, where she saw a National Geographic special playing. She grumbled to herself and approached the couch, until she realized that Calvin was not there. Where she expected to see him, she instead saw a familiar stuffed animal leaning against the arm rest of the couch. She stared at him for a long moment, before sighing and sitting down next to him.

"What are you doing out of bed, Hobbes?" she yawned, searching the residing coffee table for the remote.

The stuffed tiger stared up at her with its lifeless marble eyes. Mom smiled and leaned her head back.

"You know, I always thought that you would be something that Calvin would pass down his kids one day. Sometimes I wonder if Calvin will ever even have kids of his own…" She paused for a moment, thinking about the concept. "Either way… I really hope he does keep you that long."

She yawned again and closed her eyes for a moment.

"I think he will."

Mom's eyes burst open and she turned and looked over at Hobbes. The stuffed tiger she had come to know and recognize for all these years was suddenly gone. In its place was a much taller tiger with a soft expression and human like features. He was munching on a bag of chips that Mom had not noticed before and was looking up at her with a confused expression.

"What?" he said, in between bites.

Mom stared at him for a short moment, before shaking her head. "N-nothing…," she continued staring at him for a moment. "You… _have_ always been here, haven't you?"

Hobbes raised an eyebrow. "You say that as if you never noticed me."

Mom sighed and shook her head. "No, I just… Maybe I didn't…"

Hobbes chuckled and patted Mom on the shoulder. "Go on, give me the honest truth. It can't be anything worse than what Calvin yells at me every time he comes in his front door from school."

Mom looked at him for a long moment.

"I've just… you've always been… a toy… a stuffed animal… Not actually there…"

Hobbes stared at her blankly.

"You were his imaginary friend," Mom explained, finally.

Hobbes nodded and rubbed his chin in thought. "Interesting…"

"But… you aren't… I don't think… I can't even tell anymore…"

"No, no, trust me… I am all too real."

"Then... why did I never see you?"

Hobbes thought for a moment before shrugging. "Couldn't say. As many secrets that Calvin and I have unraveled from the universe these last few years, I think there will always be something behind the veil, we'll never see."

"I… I guess…"

There was a moment of silence.

"You know how important you are to him, right?" Mom said at last.

Hobbes gave her a warm fuzzy smile. "Yes, I do. And I promise you that he's just as important to me."

Mom gave a slight smile in return. "Good," she said, patting his arm. "I always used to worry about him going off and playing alone. It's good to know he never _was_ alone."

Hobbes chuckled. "Yeah… Not that he ever listens to me. Sometimes, you can only stand back and watch."

They sat in silence for a long moment, watching the TV. Hobbes passed her the bag of chips, and she took a few, feeling briefly hypocritical after all the times she'd badgered Calvin to not eat after brushing his teeth.

Hobbes looked over at her. "It's getting late."

"Yeah, I know… I should probably go to bed. I have a lot to do tomorrow."

"I don't. Benefits of not being human."

Mom sent him an amused look. "Watch it, mister, or we'll take you to the vet and have you neutered."

"Empty threats will get you nowhere."

They descended into silence again, and Mom laid her head back on the cushion. "Okay, just make sure you keep the volume down low, okay?"

She looked back for a response.

All she saw was a stuffed tiger sitting next to her.

After a confused blink, she looked around for the bag of chips, but it had disappeared as well. She tasted the inside of her mouth, but she couldn't taste any remnants of the chips she just _knew_ she had eaten. Had she dreamed it? What had just happened?

Feeling even more confused than before, she took one more glance at the stuffed tiger sitting next to her and affectionately patted it on the head before getting up and leaving.

"Good night, Hobbes," she whispered.

As she headed up the stairs, she was half-certain that she heard a voice reply, "Good night."

 **THE END**

* * *

 **Author's Notes:** _All right! We made it! Only one more story to go!_ Calvin and Hobbes IV: Retro Chill REWRITTEN _is currently a WIP, but we hope to have it out before the end of the year. Thank you so much for sticking with us through this hot mess we call a fanfic series. We hope you enjoy the exciting conclusion. Heck, I hope_ I _enjoy it, whatever it is._

 _See you in the funny pages!_


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